Saturdays with the Saints: St. James the Greater

It's Saturday once again and that means it's time for another Saturday with the Saints! Our saint today is St. James the Greater, brother of John and son of Zebedee. One of the twelve disciples of Jesus Christ, he, along with John and Peter were singled out by Jesus to accompany him on several occasions and he, along with John, were given a special name by the Lord, the Sons of Thunder. Shortly after the Resurrection, James became one of the first Martyrs, and the story goes that, upon hearing him speak at his trial, the man who arrested James converted and was executed with him.

Though there is no historical evidence, many believe that St. James went to Spain and witnessed there until an apparition of the Blessed Mother appeared to him upon a pillar that is still conserved and venerated today. It was after this event that he returned to Judea and was beheaded by King Herod Agrippa I. It is also believed that, after his martyrdom, his disciples returned to Iberia with his body, where it was buried.

And that's all I could find. Well, there was a few fictional stories and a blurb on the Latter-Day Saints, but we're here for the Catholic view of St. James the Greater.

I hope you all have a wonderful day and don't forget to have the kiddies put their shoes out for St. Nicholas!

Yours Always,
Tara

What's the German word for 'Headache'?

Because I can feel one developing even as I attempt to keep my cool.

Just once I'd like the world to operate in a sane and logical manner.

Apparently, I was supposed to work last night.....only no one told me, and no one thought to call me either. So my co-worker had to work a double, and I felt terrible and torqued all at once. I could really have used those hours. Plus, why did no one tell me? All my supervisor said when I told her I was available to work that day was "ok", which is what she normally says to acknowledge that I said something. She didn't say, "Ok, I'll put you on the schedule" or anything.

On top of that, her supervisor apparently didn't tell her about my time-off notice for my trip to see my dad, because she brought the schedule for the next two weeks and had me scheduled to work the day I fly out and the day after that! Now, I did as she told me to, she told me to inform him of the days I'd need off, so why didn't he let her know? Since she's the one that does the scheduling?

Plus, he's supposedly hired two new people, which is mental when we already have to double up on one shift at one of the locations!

More and more I think I really need to get a new job. I had planned on holding off until I could drop the application for the job in Germany, but I'm not sure if things will work out that way. Especially since, even if I get that job, I won't be over there until May or June. Of course, my frustration is based largely off how little people care about their employees, but hey, there's nothing I can do about that, is there?

As long as I'm making a half-way decent pay-check here, I'll stick with it. It's not a terrible job, and it pays the few bills I have (although, let's be honest, if I didn't live with my Granma, I'd literally have to choose between utilities and food, and that's if I was working a full 40hrs a week).

Sorry, I know you guys aren't on here to read my ranting.

So, I'm almost finished with Granma's shawl. I'd have finished it last week except I can't knit at work anymore. After that, I have to get my step-mother's cowl on the needles so I can get if finished. I'd rather work on my shawl, or mom's socks, but mom understands that I might not get it done in time. I really need to get some more stuff put up on Etsy, but I just haven't felt like making anything. I've got the stuff and the ideas, and I want nothing to do with any of it right now.

It's that massive headache I mentioned at the top of the post.

But, all hope is not lost! Starting January, I'll starting knitting for next Christmas, that way, by the time Christmas rolls around, I'll have everything ready. And my headache will be cut in half.

Hopefully, next year I'll be posting from Germany. Say a prayer for me, please? Hopefully everything works out.

Anyway, thanks for reading, and feel free to drop me a message!

Yours always,
Tara

The day before Thanksgiving (At least if you're American)

It's Wednesday night, and tomorrow is Thanksgiving here in my little corner of the world. This time, last year, I had two friends, neither of whom lived near me, was working as a janitor (a thankless job that barely paid for the gas my truck needed), was stressed over college, and was lying to myself about the damage my parents' divorce had caused for the third year in a row.

I've come a long ways from there. Now, I have five friends (yay!), two of whom live within a short distance from me, a different job that pays better, no college (though I really do need to go back) and while I'm still trying to work through my problems, I'm doing a lot better. I also have a new baby sister, my relationship with my mother is better, and my journey into the Catholic church is well under-way.

I'm still a little stressed, but I imagine I'll be stressed until they put me in my grave, so I'm really not to worried about that. I feel a lot better, even with all of my ranting.

So, how do I plan on spending my Thanksgiving? Well, I'm going to help Granma cook and clean, I'm going to watch the parade and the Muppet Christmas Carol, I'm going to read A Christmas Carol, set up my Christmas playlist for work, work on my knitting, and just generally enjoy the day.

Thanksgiving officially marks the start of my holiday season, and I'm really looking forward to it.

This year is also the first year that I'll be celebrating Advent. I've got a nice little wreath and candles, and two books, the Magnificat Advent companion and The Little way of Advent. While I don't feel the same kinship to St. Therese that so many seem to, I do find her Little Way to be lovely in it's openness. Both books look promising, and I'm hoping they help me celebrate my first Advent properly.

Anyway, I'm just on to wish all of you a safe and happy Thanksgiving.

Yours always,
Tara

What do you do when your job hits a new low?

Okay, so we recently got a new supervisor and this one is apparently a hands-on, ex-military, 20-something years of experience kind of guy.....and he's going to kill us all through boredom and insufficient hours. Apparently, I can't knit while at work. Go figure! I mean, it's not like I can knit without looking at my yarn or needles, it's not like it's a quiet activity, it's not like people don't ignore me anyway, it's not like I have absolutely nothing to do during an 8 hr shift besides surf the web, knit, and answer phones (which, actually, that last one isn't even part of my job description.

And I do understand why this could be a problem, really, I do. But it's not a problem, and unless it becomes a problem, I see no reason why I shouldn't be able to knit in between my rounds and such. It's not like I'm making rosaries, or anything like that. I'd have expected him to tell me I couldn't have my mini-saints before expecting him to say "No knitting." Like, really?

What's really funny is that, for all this guy is hands-on, I've actually only heard from him twice, both times he came here. I mean, really? You don't think to call and say "Hey, I'm your new supervisor."

What gets me is how everyone freaks out over my "crochet" (knitting!!!!) and not over a computer or smart-phone. Now how does that work? Apparently, I can watch movies and play video games on my phone or computer but I can't knit!

I get that some people have a problem with the knitting, but nobody at this location does. In fact, most of them are really cool about it. So like I said, if it's not a problem, why make it into one? Just because someone might get their panties in a bunch? So now I have to find a new way to entertain myself for 8hrs in between my rounds when there is nothing at all to do.

Shouldn't be too hard.

I can read a book, watch a movie, play a game....and look for a new job, because while the knitting thing is irritating, it's got nothing on the hours cut. Plus, I'm not an expert, but I'm pretty sure we don't get holiday pay.

Wishing people cared more about each other and less about "getting the better deal",

Yours always,
Tara

Saturday's with the Saints: St. Walter of Pontoise

St. Walter of Pontoise was a French saint, born in the 11th century in Andainville. He was a professor of philosophy and rhetoric before becoming a Benedictine monk at Rebais. He was appointed to be the abbot of a new foundation despite his protests by Phillip I.

He left Pontoise to become a monk at Cluny under Hugh but later had to return. He attempted to escape his job, going so far as to hand his resignation into the Pope (who sent him home and told him to stay put this time). When that failed, he began a campaign against the abuses and corruptions of his fellow Benedictines....and was promptly beaten and imprisoned.

This time, when he was released, he went back to work and quite trying so hard to get kicked out.

I mean, there's basically nothing on this guy, like three paragraphs, and all of it talks about how badly he tried to get away from his job! I thought I had issues with my job? Oh no, I'm a happy camper compared to St. Walter of Pontoise.

He is the patron of prisoners, POWs, and is invoked against job-related stress.....so maybe he's the patron of disgruntled employees as well?

Even the picture of the guy looks like he'd rather be any where else!

Ah well. That's part of why we love the Church, isn't it? Because Her heroes are humans, and they get irritated and short-tempered and have bad habits. It makes us feel less alone.

Anyway, thanks for tuning in for this week's Saint.

Yours always,
Tara

Sinuses and why I'm not posting today

My sinuses are trying to kill me. I'm taking medicine, but with I don't see it clearing up for another day or two. I've had a persistent headache, on and off all day and frankly, I feel like crap. 

I apologize for missing yet another Saturday, but I can't think straight.

Love you all,

Tara

Saturdays with the Saints: St. Sebastian

Today's edition of Saturdays with the Saints features St. Sebastian.

St. Sebastian was born at Narbonne, Gaul, and became a Roman soldier in 283 under Emperor Carinus to defend confessors and martyrs without drawing attention to himself. He encouraged many Christians and even converted the master of the rolls Nicostratus who was in charge of the prisoners, and the jailer Claudius, as well as many others.

He was named captain of the praetorian guards by Diocletian and again by Maximian. His faith was not discovered until Maximian's persecution of Christians, when his execution was ordered. He was shot with arrows and left for dead, but was discovered still alive and was nursed back to health by the widow of St. Castulus, St. Irene. He then intercepted the Emperor, gave him a lecture on the appalling nature of his cruelty, and was then beaten to death on the Emperor's orders in 288.


He was venerated in Milan as earlier as the time of St. Ambrose and was buried on the Appian Way. He is the patron of athletes, archers, soldiers, and is appealed to for protection against plagues.

He is sometimes referred to as the Saint that was martyred twice because of how he was left for dead, nursed back to health, and then beaten to death.

I hope you enjoy this as much as I do. Some of these stories are really interesting.

Yours always,
Tara

Wishy-washy weather, yarn purchases, and knitters fatigue

Do you ever just get burned out on a project? I'm almost done with this blanket I've been working on! I've got one last panel to do....and I want to work on it about as much as I want to wear a miniskirt (which is to say, not at all). I mean, I'm so close to being finished it isn't funny, but I don't want to work on it.

Actually, what I want to do right now is go home and have a glass of wine, but that's not an option at this current moment.

The point that I'm trying to make is that I'm in a bit of a bind because I've got a scarf, two pairs of socks, a cowl, two shawls, a dress, a stocking, and a hat to make before Christmas and I'm still stuck on this blanket! I mean, really! Plus, I have a few tentative ideas for patterns rattling around (along with every thing else) that I'd like to test knit before I write them up.

I also have a necklace, two rosaries, and several pairs of earrings to get done.

I bought some yarn from knitpicks recently for the two shawls I've got planned, and I finally got the yarn for the bottom of the dress and the wings. The pattern calls for eyelash yarn, but they didn't have any, so I bought boa yarn instead, in a nice white color. It'll look good with the burgundy, and should have a nice effect for the wings.

The weather here refuses to make up it's mind. November 1st was frigid and windy. Since then, it has begun to warm up again. At this rate, I won't get to make use of my sweaters until I go to visit my dad. Of course, I'm still alternately freezing and roasting at work, so we see that nothing has changed there.

Anyway, that's what new, or on-going. I'll talk to you later.

Yours always,
Tara

Battles with wine corks, store news, and why I haven't been on lately

Wine corks are evil things. They stand firmly between me and the lovely fruit of the vine that is held within a fragile glass bottle. I have this ridiculous fear that I'll somehow manage to apply enough pressure while trying to remove the cork by myself that I'll cause the bottle to break. It's ridiculous, but it's still a fear. I'm not sure whether it's the thought of cleaning up all the glass, or the inevitable bloodshed that would come with it that frightens me, but I'm leaning more towards the glass shards that would need to be cleaned up.

Glass is one of the worst things to cling, second only to corelle ware which, when it breaks, shatters into billions of razor sharp shards that you will still be finding three weeks from now. I speak from experience.

But that's not the point. The point is that I just want a nice relaxing glass of wine, and fighting with the cork generally makes it a slightly less relaxing glass. Now I'm not a wine snob, in fact, I think it's ridiculous, but I do enjoy an occasional glass of a nice moscato or a sweet red blend. Muscadine, while not very well known, it seems, is also a favorite.

Regardless, I don't like fighting with corks. Obviously, I need to buy one of those lovely little corkscrews that make it nice and easy.

In other news, I made my first sale on my store! I'm so thrilled! So far I've had one "favorite" and one sale, but I'm hoping that some of my other stuff will sell. I've got to finish the rosary, and I've got a necklace that I'm working on, as well as a few more pairs of earrings to make, but I'm feeling really good about it. I mean, I sold something! I was so worried that everything would just sit there and nothing would happen with it.

I haven't been on lately. I've just been going through one of my phases where I just don't feel like talking a lot. Sometimes I want to talk to certain people only, and other times, I just can't bring myself to talk to anyone. Even myself. My mind just empties itself and all that's left is a tune to focus on. Sort of like a white noise machine almost.

Of course, added to that is some stuff I'm trying to plan regarding the quickly approaching month of December. Where did all the time go? I still have so much to do, and so little time, and, God help me, even less money.

Anyway, I guess I really just wanted to let you all know that I'm still alive and on here, I just haven't been up to posting anything. I've got some ideas rattling around inside my head, so we'll see where we end up.

Yours always,
Tara Hills

Saturdays with the Saints: St. Fabiola of Rome

Today's edition of Saturdays with the Saints is about St. Fabiola of Rome.

St. Fabiola, a Roman noble woman, was married to a vile man and obtained a divorce in accordance with Roman law. She then remarried contrary to the ordinances of the Church. She was not received back into the church until after the death of her second husband when she followed the influence of St. Jerome, and did public penance for her sin.

Following this, St. Fabiola renounced all earthly wealth, and devoted her substantial wealth to the needs of the poor and the sick.

She erected a hospital and cared for it's patients herself.

She moved to Bethlehem in 395 and worked at a hospice there, while studying the scriptures and working to fund the building of a large hospice in Rome.

She died in either 399 or 400.

Her feast day is December 27 and she is the patron of Divorced people, difficult marriages, victims of abuse, adultery, unfaithfulness, widows, and the hospice movement.

Until next time!

Yours always,
Tara

NOW OPEN!

Padrigin's Corner is now officially open for business!

https://www.etsy.com/shop/PadriginsCorner?ref=hdr_shop_menu

So far I only have 6 items up, but I've got more in the works! Hopefully I'll be able to get the others up there soon! I've also got some ideas bouncing around inside my head!

Check it out and let me know what you think!

Yours always,
Tara Hills

Saturdays with the Saints: St. Jane of Valois

Today's edition of Saturdays with the Saints is on St. Jane of Valois.

She was the daughter of Louis XI of France and apparently was not very enamored with the glitter of court life. She much preferred to spend her time in solitude, praying and meditating. She was married to Louis, Duke of Orleans in 1486. He was an even bigger twit than her father, and shortly after he became king, he requested an annulment. Since he'd protested practically all the way to the alter, this was, of course, granted.

After that, she formed a religious community with a group of other young women called the Sisters of the Annunciation of Mary. She was buried in a vault at her church when she died.


Years later, the French revolution saw her disinterred, stabbed with swords, and burned.

Supposedly, her body was incorrupt at the time she was disinterred, and when they stabbed her body, it bled.

I don't know either way, I just know that approximately 200-300 years had passed between her death and the revolution.

Yours always,
Tara

A tiny Irish apparition and the dramatics that can come with my job

I've recently added a few new things to my little ( for now) collection of Catholic odds and ends. I've bought a small statue of Our Lady of Grace, the Shining Lights doll version of Our Lady of Knock, and tomorrow or Monday (depending on when I make it over there) I'm going to pick up a small statue of St. Patrick from Saints and Shamrocks. I'm actually kind of hoping they'll have St. Barbara as well, but if not, that's fine.

I also bought a second Shining Lights St. Nicholas. I figured it would be a good gift for Little Bird, while not being too Catholic, which would bother my mom. St. Nicholas and St. Patrick, she could probably live with. Maybe even St. Francis, though I'm not willing to bet on it. But um....any one else? Especially one of the Apparition dolls (Marian apparitions from around the world)....yeah, no. That's just a little too Catholic for my mother, I'm sure.

She gave away Christmas ornaments from Ettal Abbey because they had the Madonna and Child on them! I mean, okay, so they went to a friend whose family is Catholic, but still! Simple gold colored ornaments with the Madonna and Child. They were a set, two royal blue ones with the Abbey on them, two gold ones with the Madonna and Child. Explain to me why the Abbey is acceptable but the Madonna and Child is not?

Anyway, my huffing and puffing aside, I'm hoping that I didn't make a mistake and misjudge it....but mom knows I like the more traditional St. Nicholas figure (and always have) so hopefully it won't be a problem.

Oh! The drama of my job! So, first off, I'm not a secretary, but, for some reason, the wisdom of the people here says I am to answer the phone. Keep in mind, I don't know half of what we offer here, and I have trouble finding everything for the other half. So, I had a lady call wanting information I didn't have, and instead of someone taking and picking up the phone to take the call, I'm given a convoluted set of instructions on how to get to the information. Needless to say, it didn't work. And then! Not to long ago, I had a lady call her ride, loudly, asking where where they and didn't they realize she needed to be picked up 40 minutes ago, and they know that's when she needed to be picked up!

Ah, such fun.

I'll be honest, I like my job, even if the climate control leaves something to be desired and the communication breakdown is of epic proportions. I do still like my job, but some days.....some days would be better with something stronger than coffee.

Yours always,
Tara

A little bit of grumbling

So, I missed my usual Saturday post. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.

Seriously, I'm pretty bummed that I missed it. I think I might enjoy the Saturday posts more than you do, my dear readers.

Sometimes, I get annoyed by my own nature. Until I'm comfortable, I'll keep quite, and I'm always feeling out people, even years after I get to know them, trying to find the lines that cannot be crossed so that I can avoid them. At the same time, I refuse to lie, although one could argue that a omitting information is lying, when I omit information, it's usually because it's not mine to tell, or I'm just not comfortable with it.

We also have my need to remain polite, even when I'm telling someone off. I don't generally like people who push my buttons, though sometimes my anger, strangely, chooses to manifest as laughter. I know why. On one level I'm darkly amused at how rude, thoughtless, and idiotic people can be. Laughing in people's faces is generally an inappropriate course of action.

And then there's the worst part. Sometimes I just don't want to talk. I'm not upset, I'm not angry or anything. I just don't want to interact with....well, pretty much everyone. There's a few exceptions, but very few.

I feel kind of bad, because sometimes I'll take hours to return calls, emails, or texts just because I don't want to break my little bubble of isolation. I just need to retreat into my head for a while. Maybe read a book, maybe watch a movie, maybe have a drink, and just.....untangle myself. Untangle the knots I tie myself into trying to dance around the lines people draw without breaking my (admittedly flawed) moral code. Untangle my thoughts, and the different facets of my personality.

On one hand, I'm abrasive, sarcastic, a little rough around the edges. On the other, I'm reserved, polite, and awkward.....like a hand-cranked Victrola in a world full of iPods. Analogue in a digital age.

Hence, why I will probably die, old and alone, surround by cats.

Just kidding! Although I'm certainly not ruling "crazy cat lady" out of the possibilities for my future, I'd like to think I have a little more faith than to declare myself a spinster at the tender age of 22.

The problem is that there just isn't a polite way to say "I'm having a moment, please do not disturb unless it's an emergency." Sure, a lot of my friends understand. Many of them have similar personality quirks where they just need time. In fact, most people do. Maybe I just haven't figured out how to verbalize my issues yet.

Thanks for reading this.

Yours always,
Tara

P.s. The shop should be opening next week, when I get paid. There's a few...safety nets, so to speak, that I'd like in place first. But Padrigin's Corner will be opening on either the 20th or the 21st.

There's really nothing to say

Nothing of any interest has happened recently. I've been working on my room, doing laundry, going to work, really nothing worth writing about. I went to start on Granma's shawl (I'm worried if I don't start soon then I'll never finish) only to realize that I had misread the pattern and needed a different yarn, which is a mistake I can't really afford to fix right now. I still haven't finished that blanket, and truthfully, I think I need to redo that part of the next square that I have. I think I picked too complicated a cable pattern to finish it any time soon.

I finally finished reading St. Patrick's Confession, and hope to finish reading the book it was in soon. I'm hoping my sister will be able to visit soon, and that I'll somehow, miraculously, have enough money to get a hotel room so that we can all get together while she's here. I need to do something to relax, but I feel like a spring that all wound up. It'll be better tomorrow, but right now, I'm thinking about everything and it just keeps growing.

I'd appreciate you saying a prayer for me, God knows, I need all the help I can get.

Yours always,
Tara

Yesterday and today: Doctor's appointment, RCIA, and why cooking channels are brilliant

I mention the brilliance of cooking channels, but I should add a caveat to that.....they're brilliant until watching them makes you forget to get on and write your blog post. Yep, that's what happened. I got distracted by Chopped, and then an episode of this show on ABC called Forever. An immortal medical examiner who solves crimes.....even if he weren't really attractive and in possession of a nice accent, the concept would probably still be enough to grab my attention. But I'm not going to complain about the rest of it.

So to recap yesterday, I got up late, puttered around the house, went to the doctor's (apparently, I'm in good health and should not need to see her again for another year.) visited my mom and sister, came home, backed chocolate pumpkin muffins, dashed off to class, came home, had a beer, and wrestled with unanswerable philosophical questions.

All in all, not a bad day. Even if the beer wasn't quite what I was hoping for. I keep hoping to find something with a similar flavor to Guinness but without the weight of a Guinness....if that makes any sense at all.

Anyway, today I got up early, went to mass, puttered around Savannah (with some grumbling at my clock for moving so slowly) and went to Saints and Shamrocks. I love going into that store, but I need to be very careful when I do because I want to take half of the store home. And I just can't afford to do that.

I bought a few new saint medals to add to my charm necklace, two laminated prayer cards to go with the chaplet and the rosary on Etsy, a little statue of Our Lady of Grace, and a copy of Gaelic Storm's "The Full Irish: Greatest Hits".

I kind of feel like I've passed a milestone here. I now own a statue of our Mother. Okay, yeah, it's not the biggest, nor the most detailed, but it's still a very nice little statue. It just makes it all a little more real, if that makes sense.

As for Gaelic Storm, what can I say? I love celtic rock.

I'm hoping to get the listings up by the end of the week. I'm not sure how well it will do, but I hope it'll work out. I've got some ideas for more chaplets, as well as a few other crafts. I've got my heart set on a resin kit for jewelry making that I think will be brilliant, but the stuff I'm listing now needs to do well first.

Anyway, hopefully I'll remember to drag myself away from the tv tomorrow night as well.

Yours always,
Tara

Almost ready to open shop and parish social events as a non-social person

I've started getting things ready to open my etsy shop soon. Getting pictures taken, figuring out what to make next, and adding other little details to the mix. This isn't the most difficult thing I've done, but it's not easy, especially since I'm not all that good at pricing things. I don't want to price it too low, but at the same time, I definitely don't want to price it too high either.

So far I have several pairs of guitar pick earrings, a necklace and earrings set, a St. Patrick chaplet, and the Pieta Rosary. The rosary was a struggle to make because the wire didn't always want to do what I wanted it too. I'm actually thinking about taking and re-doing a one whole decade because it's a little too long. Don't get me wrong, I loved making it, and it turned out really well, all things considered, but it was a little difficult.

The chaplet also caused me a little trouble because the only St. Patrick medal that I had available was a double sided St. Patrick/St. Brigid medal. Still, I'm really pleased with how it turned out.

Oh, and I finally made my book music box.

I went a little overboard with the stickers, but I don't think it turned out badly. I've also got a few things in mind for the background on future boxes. The cross statue is actually for those little fairy gardens, I just cut the stake that held in up in the ground off and it was perfect. No lights on this one, just a lot of stickers and a music box movement hidden under that green fabric. It plays When Irish Eyes are Smiling.

I'd like to be able to make some for the store as well, later on. I'm hoping I've just about figured out what I'm doing with them, but you never know.

It's been cooler here the past few days, although the forecast promises that this lovely fall weather won't last. I'm not upset about the nights warming up, but I like wearing long sleeves and jackets so the days warming back up does bother me slightly.

I have a follow up appointment with the doctor tomorrow, which promises to be lots of fun. Actually, it shouldn't be too bad, I just have to whine about it as a principle. At least this time they shouldn't need to stick me with needles.....I hope.

Another thing I'm doing tomorrow is baking. I'm making three batches of Chocolate pumpkin muffins to (hopefully) take to my RCIA class to share. Food sort of acts as a conversation starter, which means I can socialize without feeling awkward.

Speaking of feeling awkward! Last night was the parish Stewardship Appreciation dinner in the park by the cathedral. I went. Thankfully, Aunt D showed up before I could get so uncomfortable as to leave, but it was a close thing. I'm not a social person by nature. I mean, I love people, I like being around people, if I didn't work second shift (and was Catholic instead of "becoming Catholic") I'd be trying to do a lot more. Unfortunately I also have a really hard time socializing.

I'm not comfortable starting conversations, I'm not comfortable taking point, as it were. I need to get to know people....then I never shut up, so be fore-warned, I'm bad about talking too much with people I'm comfortable with.

It makes things like the dinner really hard to enjoy because I'm literally just standing out there in limbo! I knew exactly three people there, and two of them were priests! (Not that that's a bad thing, quite the opposite, it's good to know one's parish's priests.) I managed to relax when Aunt D arrived, but still. It's absolutely terrible.

I'm hoping to visit my Dad this year at Christmas time. It's kind of hard because I have to figure out when I can go, how much it'll cost, and how long I can stay. I looks like I'd really only be able to be there for 5 days, not including travel time. I also would need to get a carry on bag to go for my stuff. Working takes the fun out of travel because if you take time off, you lose pay, and then what? I don't get paid enough as it is, which is why I'm so grateful that I live with my Granma. If it weren't for that, I wouldn't be able to afford a place to live.

Anyway, that's all for now. I'll talk to ya'll again tomorrow.

Yours always,
Tara

Saturdays with the Saints: St. John Bosco

Today's edition of Saturdays with the Saints features St. Giovanni Melchior Bosco, better known as St. John Bosco. In an interesting twist of fate, if you will, it turns out that I didn't have to decide between a randomly generated saint and a saintly Fransican, because according to franciscan-archive.org, St. John Bosco was a member of the Franciscan Third Order of Penance. So, he fits both criteria.

I think that works out quite nicely, don't you?

St. John Bosco was born on August 16, 1815 in Becchi, Italy. He was the youngest of three, and was born in a time of famine and want. He had dreams starting at the age of nine about his mission to help boys with no homes.

He left home at the age of 12 due to difficulties with his older brother, Antonio. He eventually found work, but would not begin proper schooling for another two years. It was 1830 when a priest, Joseph Cafasso identified that he had a natural talent and sought to cultivate it.

He entered the seminary five years later, and after six years of study was ordained on the eve of Trinity Sunday by Archbishop Franzoni of Turin.

While fulfilling his duties, he visited a prison and saw a large number of boys between the ages of 12 and 18 were locked up and desired to help them. After meeting a boy who was in a similar situation while preparing for mass, he began the Oratorio.

The purpose of this mission was to keep young boys off the streets. The Oratorio was forced to move several times, and St. John Bosco was almost committed to an asylum at one point. When St. John's mother, "Mama Margaret" joined her son on his mission, things began to look up and the first Salesian Home was founded.

Adding to the positive outlook was the fact that municipal authorities finally recognized the value of the work that St. John was trying to so. With the authorities finally behind him, he was able to raise money to build technical schools and workshops to help the boys.

At the time of his death, January 31, 1888, there were 250 houses in the Salesian Society containing over 130,000 children.

His feast day is January 31st, and he's the patron saint of apprentices, boys, editors, Mexican young people, laborers, schoolchildren, students, and young people.

I hope you enjoyed this post, and maybe learned something you didn't know. I'll be back again next week with another Saturdays with the Saints!

Yours always,
Tara

Knit, purl, and a very tiny person

I'm hard at work on that baby blanket still. I'm not sure if I'll ever finish it at this rate. It's beginning to drive me nuts. Especially since I still have so much more to work on. A dress, a scarf, a shawl, socks, and on and on and on goes the list. Next year, I'm starting in January!

I spent some time with Mom and Little Bird today. Not as much as I would have liked, but still, some time. I had to run into Savannah to try to find something to make it easier for Mom to nurse, only for the store to be out. And, to add to it, the local Walmart had it. I drove in circles, but it was fine.

Little bird is so tiny. Unfortunately, she's just too long for the preemie onesies to fit her. The newborn stuff swallows her. She does have a few outfits, but still. She's just so tiny!

It's been a rather dull day. I went to mass this morning, which was lovely, and spent time with my Mom and sister, which was great. I'm getting better at admitting that, yes, I do want to hold her. Once I'm holding her, I'm fine, it's just saying that I want to hold her that I have trouble with.

Hey, nobody said I was normal.

Other than that though, it's been a dull day. I worked on my room some, made some tentative plans to get another book shelf and maybe a hat stand, if I can find one. I'm waiting for the beads to arrive for the St. Francis of Assisi/Pope Francis rosary I'm planning.

My computer and I continue to be at odds over Catholic TV. It's getting a bit ridiculous. Hopefully I'll be able to work it out soon, because this constant struggle to get it to do what I want is more than a little frustrating.

So far, I've been doing pretty well with praying the rosary nightly. I'm struggling with the bedtime/morning alarm a bit, but we're getting there. Slowly, but with prayers, surely, we're getting there.

I'm not sure if I want to randomly generate a saint tomorrow, or if I want to do something a little different. I'm tempted to do a post on St. Francis, but I'm thinking about finding a saintly Franciscan instead. I'll figure it out, and if you want to leave a comment with your opinion, I'd love to hear it.

Yours always,
Tara

Isn't it October?

Why is it so darn hot in this state! I mean, okay, I'm glad we don't get snow every winter and generally have fairly mild weather during the colder months, but it's October! It's not supposed to be hot enough to wear tank tops and shorts!

My friend who was going to model for me was unable to make it do to family business (which I totally understand) but I still took some photos of the jewelry I've made, as well as the St. Patrick Chaplet and the Pieta rosary which I finished earlier. The pictures, as far as I know thus far, turned out pretty well, lot of lovely natural light and some pretty decent backdrops. The weather was miserable and I was half way through taking pictures and sweating like a pig.

I like cooler weather. I like sweaters and cardigans and light jackets. I live for that! This is getting ridiculous.

In other news, I got part of my Halloween costume (which is actually useless since I will most likely be working that night) yesterday. The costume is supposed to be Grace O'Malley, the pirate queen of Ireland (my friends, if they read this, will be laughing at me, I assure you) and so requires a yellow chemise with a green over dress as would have been common for a woman of her status at the time. I got the idea for it from takebackhalloween.org which has a lot of really great ideas for home made costumes that aren't skimpy.

This has several positives. One: on the off chance I do actually get the chance to dress up for Halloween, my costume won't be revealing, and won't be flimsy and cheap. Two: Chemise have a myriad of uses, not the least of which is layers (which are brilliant when it gets colder) and really comfy nightgowns. Finally, three: It gives me an excuse to buy "period pieces". What can I say, I like really old clothes. Largely because they cover lots of skin.

Also on my agenda of things to figure out, I'd like to learn to pray the rosary in Irish Gaelic. This will most likely prove to be a tad bit difficult. There aren't a lot of audio files, I don't know anyone who speaks Gaelic (besides the Monsignor that is) and I haven't actually started learning the language yet. (One lullaby for my sister in no way counts). So, on top of the million other things I have, I want to do that as well.

I must have lost my mind.

Anyway, coming up Saturday is the feast of St. Francis of Assisi (which sounds interesting) and Sunday there's going to be a dinner in the square at the Cathedral. I'm looking forward to it a lot, which is a little out of character. I'm not really a social person, but at the same time, I think it'll be fun. Hopefully it will turn out well. I will definitely do a post on Saturday, because I missed last week (no complaints there, Little Bird, tiny though she is, is doing rather well) so barring a crisis, we will have a Saturdays with the Saints post.

See you tomorrow!

Yours always,
Tara

Motivation problems, scheduling issues, and setting goals

Like many people of all ages, I struggle with motivation. I find it difficult to drag myself out of bed, struggle to push myself to excel, and have issues caring about most things.

This, obviously, is a problem. It's not an easy problem to admit that you have. If you struggle with motivation, you're lazy and deserve to fail. Now I won't say there isn't any truth to that, that the entire idea is unfounded, because it's not. Sometimes I am just being lazy. And then sometimes I'm overwhelmed, sometimes I'm tired, sometimes, I'm just not present.

All of which only serves to make the problems worse. It gets even worse though, when you succeed for a short period of time, say a month or so, and then find yourself back in the rut. You start off getting to be by 12:30 and getting up by 7, and then the next thing you know, it's 1:30 and you haven't even tried to fall asleep. Your alarm goes off and you hit the snooze button (another black mark against second sift, getting up early feels fairly meaningless.)

You realize there's a problem and decide to fix it.....except you don't. Maybe you do it properly for two or three days in a row, but then you're tired, your body is still adjusting back to the proper schedule. It's so easy to get into bad habits, and so hard to get back out of them.

Which is where I'm at now. I know I need to get up earlier. I know I need to (finally) finish unpacking my room. I know I need to clean up more often, and to a higher standard. I know I need to eat better, work out more, and spend less time on my computer.

It's not easy, especially since there is so much to be done. So much I need and want to do, and the time that's available is never enough. But it has to be.

So, I'm making myself accountable right now, and maybe putting it down where everyone who wants to read it can will help keep me going. The goals are simple.

I'd like to lose a minimum of 10lbs.
I'd like to cook at least once a week. Since it's just the two of us at home, that's actually more than enough.
I want to get my room unpacked completely and put together properly by the end of the month.
I want to save up enough money for my tattoo by Christmas.
I want to make at least two items for my Etsy store every week. Not necessarily big things, but something nonetheless.
I want to go through all of my clothes and get rid over anything and everything that doesn't fit or that I don't wear, regardless of what it is.
I want to get up by 7:00 every morning, and be in bed by 12:30 every night, earlier on nights that I can manage it.
Finally, I want to say the rosary at least once a day. I've fallen out of the habit, and I need to get back to it. Especially since I still haven't memorize Hail Holy Queen.

So there we have it. I start tonight, there's not a lot off that list I can do tonight, but I can pray the rosary, and I can get to bed earlier. I have to set out a few items that I'm taking photos of tomorrow, my camera, batteries, and make sure my sd card for my camera is empty so there's plenty of room, but other than that, I don't have a lot left to do.

Pray for me, as I try my best to conquer my own weaknesses through God.

Yours always,
Tara

RCIA, and shows I need to either catch up on or abandon

Today was week three of RCIA classes. We were in the Lower Chapel tonight, which was interesting because I had only a vague idea of where that was. I got it right, and showed up in the right place, which was a huge relief, but I felt like every move I made was ten times louder than usual. I feel that way most times I enter a church, with a few exceptions.

Anyway, we were discussing the hierarchy in the church and some of the history behind it, which was interesting. I still haven't reached the point where I'm incredibly comfortable or anything, but I imagine I'll be a little less anxious by the time the Holidays roll around.

At least, I hope so.

Speaking of holidays, I'm almost finished with the blanket, which means I'll have to cast on to one of my Christmas knits immediately following that. I'm thinking the shawl for Granma, and then maybe the socks for mom. I have to alter the pattern slightly, because she asked for socks like the yellow ones that I made, but with a fold over cuff. I'll probably add a few stitches and invert the pattern so that when she folds it over, the ribbing faces outwards as it should.

I left early for class this evening because I needed to run into Savannah and I know what a nightmare the traffic can be. I had to go to the mall to pick up a shirt that I had delivered to the store for Aunt D. She saw the one I had and really liked it. Anyway, while there I picked up a new wallet with Daryl from the Walking Dead on it.

Now I like the Walking Dead just fine, but I've really only seen about 4 episodes from the first season. And honestly, I like Daryl because, dude, he has a crossbow. A crossbow! I'm an archery fan, and I've been entertaining thoughts about getting a crossbow for years, as well as getting a better recurve bow (mine being a decent quality, but still cheap set). No compounds though. I firmly maintain that a compound bow is cheating.

Why isn't using a crossbow cheating? Because reload time sucks compared to a standard or compound bow. Accuracy is much improved, but reload is crap.

Anyway! Not the point here. The point is I like Daryl because I can actually see him surviving the apocalypse and I like that he uses a crossbow. That's about it. I still can't get over what an idiot Rick was in the first episode. Yeah, sure, he manned up and took charge, but he's still a bit of an idiot.

But this brings me to my tv problem. See, I don't watch a lot of television, and the stuff I do watch tends to be old (M*A*S*H, I Dream of Jennie, ect), travel related (Anthony Bourdain is my hero), food related, or nostalgia related (American Restoration, American Pickers, Pawn Stars). Add in a dash of Catholic tv, through in a few crappy action films and the entire Disney film collection and you have my film library.

There is a problem with that though. See, I like Doctor Who, I like Walking Dead, I like Sherlock, and Supernatural, and more.....but I don't keep up with the episodes, I'll watch half a season in a day and then not touch it for two months, and I see nothing wrong with spoilers and watch things out of order.

This, apparently, bothers people.

Now let's be honest. I care about what most people think about as much as I speak Greek, that is to say, not at all. However, I do care (stupidly, in this case) what my friends say, and this does bother some of them. So, choices? Either watch, or don't, and try not to get attached to characters you know next to nothing about (Daryl, for example). This is a bit of a problem because I've never cared, and truthfully, don't much care now except for one teeny tiny fact.

It makes me feel awkward.

Yep, say you like a show but only watch a few episodes sporadically and if that show has any sort of fan base some one will be willing to stone you for "not being a real fan". Now I know my friends won't do that, and their ribbing is friendly in nature, but other people aren't so understanding and God knows I'm not a nice person.

We're working on that, but it's very slow going because my brain-to-mouth filter doesn't always kick in before I say something mean.

TV shows can bring out the worst in people and telling them to take a long walk off a short pier is, for some reason, less acceptable than their form bullying.

So, do I watch the shows? Abandon them? Continue with my sporadic and out-of-order enjoyment?

Yeah, we'll go with option C. And hopefully, God will only place idiots in my path when He knows the filter is functioning.

Yours always,
Tara

Long days, poor internet connections, and disappointing schedules

I've been up since this 6 this morning, which I'm sure to many of you is hardly worth note, but given that I usually don't get to bed until midnight/1am, it's a bit of a thing to me. Truthfully, I need to start getting up earlier. I like watching sunrises, though I prefer to be inside to watch during the winter months, but that's not the point here!

Anyway, I was up early today, and I'll be up early tomorrow as well, because I'm going to swing by my mom's and make sure my brothers get off to school while mom takes Little Bird to her first doctor's appointment. Little Bird is doing quite well, especially given that she was just over three weeks early entering the world. She's tiny though, just a few ounces shy of six pounds, and no fat whatsoever on her tiny body. We had to buy some preemie clothes, because all mom had was newborn size. She's really sweet though, and the boys love her.

In other news, the internet connection on my personal computer here at work is continually mercurial and difficult. I can't listen to Catholic Answers Live, or watch EWTN without skipping, pausing, and glitching. Youtube works fine. Oh! And tonight I tried to watch Catholic TV (a new discovery, which is brilliant) and had worse luck with it than I do EWTN! This is getting ridiculous!

My work schedule is more than a little disappointing this week. I guess that's what happens when you can't work a full week, they cut your hours even more, but I'm hoping it's just a temporary thing. I'm going to talk to my supervisor this week and see what's going on with the schedule. The good news here, I guess, is that I'll be opening the shop a bit sooner than I originally planned. A friend of mine is coming over to help me take pictures of the items I'll be listing. I need to finish the Pieta rosary and the St. Patrick chaplet.

I've also got beads coming for the St. Francis of Assisi/Pope Francis rosary coming soon. I ordered some lovely dark wood beads for it. I've got my eye on some other items, including some resin for jewelry making and some drill bits for bottle lamps, but everything is due time. No rush.

I'm hoping, since my last few plans have fallen through, that I'll be able to make my trip to St. Augustine on the 11th. I don't really want to go alone though, and that looks increasingly like it might be the case. I'm used to this, truthfully, my parents, though they tried, were never very good at planning trips like that (hence, why we never went to Paris, Rome, Whittenburg, or the Medieval jousting in Worms despite living in Germany for 6 years.) Even with the trip to Disney we took before my Papa died. That was me planning that, thanks, and if Papa and Granma hadn't been the primary monetary force behind it, we still would never have made it.

Anyway, all of that aside, I'm looking forward to the week. I'm basically broke, and tired, but I think this week will be a good week.

Yours always,
Tara

Little Bird is Here!

So, I was supposed to write a post of St. Nicholas of Tolentino for today's edition of Saturdays with the Saints. This, obviously did not happen because my little sister decided she'd waited long enough and she was going to come, dang it, whether we liked it or not.

This means it's a very good thing I didn't go to St. Augustine today, though, given how long it took, I probably could have made it. Even so, I'm glad I didn't go because I'd have been a mess....well, more than I already was.

Despite saying that I was going to hide out at DQ, I actually did go. No, I did not watch, and no, I did not drink (though God knows I really wanted a whiskey!). What I did do was knit, pace, pray, cook, and clean.

I also got to dress my sister in her first outfit, which wasn't as awkward as I had thought it would be. It's been a long time since I dressed a baby, and I've never dressed a newborn before. I was 12 when P was born, and I think he was 3 or 4 months old before I helped change and dress him.

She was really tiny, Much tinier than I've ever held, being just shy of 6lbs, and so incredibly adorable.

The hat that I made to match her outfit did fit, but because she was nursing, it kept falling off.

Anyway, the birth went well, according to the midwife. Both mom and sister are doing good, and assuming I get to bed in the next hour or so, I'll still get to mass tomorrow.

Good night all!

Yours always,
Tara

Babies, blankets, and the fun of waiting

If you've been following my blog for any length of time, you know my mother is pregnant and ready to deliver any day now. This means a lot of waiting, and a lot of worrying. Because, you know, that's kind of what I do. Especially when family is involved. There's still no news on that front, but we're literally waiting for her to go any second now. Oh the joy.

In other news, I think I've just about finished the blanket that I started at the end of last month. I had hoped to finish it quickly, but I've been knitting non-stop since she found out she was pregnant and I'm having trouble slogging through projects. Even my socks, which I'm thrilled to be working on, aren't coming along as fast as they should be, even with me working on them sporadically. 

Adding to the problem is the fact that my knitting isn't done. One of my brother's requested a pocket watch for Christmas, so I abandoned the thought of knitting him socks in favor of the watch. That still leaves me with four pairs of socks, because my mom wants a pair, a baby dress, a shawl, a scarf, my socks, a large afghan (made in pieces) and a scarf that I've got rattling around in my brain. 

I've also got my eyes on some resin for jewelry making, more rosaries, and a knitted advent calender. 

Suffice to say, I'm a little anxious. 

I've also got my music boxes. 

The good news, I guess, is that I'm not going to St. Augustine this weekend. Like a lot of plans I try to make, it fell through. Aunt D won't be back from her home town until early in the morning, and she won't feel up to going all the way down to St. Augustine. 

This, truthfully, is probably a good thing. With Little Bird waiting in the wings for her grand entrance into the world, it's probably best I stay close to home. Even so, I am still a little disappointed. Instead, I figure I'll run into Savannah and do a little shopping, then get some craft projects hopefully knocked out, and see if I can't finally get the enormous box out of the middle of my room. 

My step-dad has a mini-fridge that he's going to let me have, so I also want to get a piece of vinyl or stone tile for it to sit on so it's not sitting on the carpet in my bedroom. This is fantastic because I'll finally be able to have a cold drink when I get home without having my alcohol in my grandmother's fridge. Given that she's a tee-to-taler, I generally prefer to keep my drinking to a minimum, and keep it out of her space. 

I might also stop by Goodwill, and see if I can't find any good jackets, cardigans, skirts, and jewelry that I can recycle and reuse. I've got a million ideas, and a million things I need for them, and very little money to spend on them. My hope is that, once I get the shop up and running, hopefully in late October/early November, just in time for the holidays, I'll be able to turn the money that comes in around and sink it into more crafts. Making things is almost addicting because there's always a new idea running through your head, a different way to color it, a different stitch pattern, or even a new technique that you're dying to try out. 

So yeah, hopefully, that's what I'll get out of it.

Yours always,

Tara

Why do days sometimes seem so long?

Today has been a good day. I met up is two of my friends for lunch at Molly Macpherson's Scottish Pub, which was brilliant. I loved seeing them and spending time with them and the food was really good. Fish and chips, yum! I'm actually really picky about my fish, and I actually really loved it.

Despite all of that, today still seems really long.

My sister still has yet to enter the world, which has my mom worried that when she comes, she's not going to give much warning at all. Which, given everything so far, would actually be really accurate to Little Bird's personality.

Work has been incredibly dull, which is a good thing, but doesn't help to make the day seem any shorter.

Ah well, I guess that's just life.

Yours always,
Tara

One step closer to "Home" and the great part about an Irish Catholic Store

First things first, as of today I am now officially a parishioner of the Cathedral of St. John the Baptist in Savannah, Ga.  I'm incredibly pleased with this fact because I just feel so much more at home when I'm at the Cathedral than when I attend my mother's church and I feel like officially joining just makes that a bit more of a reality.

So, to recap my day. I started with (reluctantly) dragging my lazy bum out of bed and quickly getting dressed in long sleeves. (YES!) I was still cold even with the long sleeves, and had to make use of my sweater, but this is all a good thing because it means that I can start wearing my jackets and layers again and I LOVE that!

Having dragged myself out bed and gotten ready for the day, I went to mass, which was, as always, lovely. I like going to mass. It's a nice way to start the day.

After mass, I went down the road to the fancy Parker's and got breakfast and some change. I walked back to my truck, added a little more time to the meter, and then went and walked around the Colonial Park Cemetery for about half and hour. Then I took the long way back to the rectory office and officially joined the parish. (Yay!)

I then walked around Savannah for another 30 minutes, including briefly stopping in the SCAD shop  (waste of time that, and not in a good way) before heading to Saints and Shamrocks.

Have I mentioned how much I love this little shop? While it's certainly not the greatest Catholic book shop ever, it is actually really well stocked for it's small size. I bought a cross for my wall (it's celtic style and has St. Patrick on it.) as well as buying two books and a pack of two really pretty green pocket handkerchiefs with a lovely clover design embroidered on them. The books are St. Patrick: His Confession and Other Works and Three Irish Saints: A Guide to Finding Your Spiritual Style by Kevin Vost. I've already cracked both of them open to get an idea of what they'll be like.

Vost's book isn't really my normal reading style, but it sounded interesting, and I'm not one to turn down a chance to learn more about St. Patrick, so....I figured what the heck? It can't hurt to read it. I'm most excited about the first book though.

I love St. Patrick. I mean, I admire and respect a lot of saints, but I have a particular love for St. Patrick....even if he didn't drive any snakes out of Ireland.

Actually, I don't mind snakes all that much, and would much rather deal with snakes than rodents, but that's not the point here. My point is that I have a special place in my heart for the not-really-Irish Irishman (they claimed him, he's been adopted by the whole country for centuries, he's Irish.) Added to that is the fact that I'm pretty sure he's been working with Mother Mary to bring me to the Catholic church, and you can kind of understand why this book might be of particular interest to me.

I'm slowly getting used to the fact that most Catholics don't think I'm out of my mind when I say "I'm being (gently) dragged to the Catholic church by the Blessed Mother and St. Patrick." Yes, God's involved too, but I think the Good Lord understands that the gentle prodding of Mary, combined with St. Patrick's experience of being called on by generations of Irish Catholics (with their bad tempers and foul mouths) would get the best results. (That being excitement on my part.)

Plus, I'm pretty sure someone out there is the great wide wonder is laughing at me. Not sure who, but someone is laughing at me.

So, what's the great part about an Irish Catholic store? Easy. I can get a lot of my Catholic needs (books, tchotchkes, etc). And then, I can turn around and get lovely little Irish knick-knacks! Did I mention that I love tchotckes?

Seriously, I love kitsch. Shamelessly enjoy these sometimes over-the-top items. I also have a long-standing and deep-set love of the entire British Isles, Ireland and Scotland in particular.

I'm not sure what it says about me that I have this fascination with two groups of people known for having bad tempers, high alcohol tolerance, and a healthy appreciation for knock-down drag-out fights that end with every one having another beer, but there you have it. Proofs in the pudding, so to speak.

Actually, having re-read that paragraph, I think that says a lot about me. Except the alcohol tolerance. I've never actually tried to figure out what my tolerance level is.

Oh well.

Anyway, time for me to sign off for the evening. Take care all!

Yours always,
Tara

Long days and sitting on edge

Last night was a longer than usual night, which means that today has been a very long and tiring day. I have been tired and short tempered all day, and my vocabulary has sounded like a drunken sailors....sadly, no alcohol was imbibed to aid my colorful language. Nor will it be for a few days, at most, because my mother is expecting to go into labor either tonight or tomorrow.

Apparently, my little sister has decided that she's waited long enough, thank you very much, and she's quite tired of waiting. Mom hasn't gone into labor yet, but she's in the early stages, so she's expecting it to start up very soon.

I'm both excited, and terrified.

I like kids. I will swear up and down, left and right, that children are monsters and I want nothing to do with them, but the truth is a little more complicated.

Truth is, until my parent's got divorced, it literally never occurred to me that I might not get married and have kids. I certainly didn't plan on going out and settling with the first fellow I found and having a litter of little people, but I did think that, one day, I would find some one and have an undetermined number of kids.

My parents got divorced, forcing me to question pretty much everything I thought I knew about love and marriage, and I swore left, right, and center that I was never getting married and never having kids to any one who even remotely suggested that I might one day want that.

Honest truth. I want that. I want to get married and have kids. I want to have that. Especially now, as I'm entering the Catholic church, because there's so much that I would love to experience. Christening and first communion and all those lovely little milestones that parents prepare their kids for and that I'd like, God willing, to one day prepare my own kids for.

The thing is, it's been so long, and I've said it for so long, that I actually feel a little awkward around kids now. And I'm not willing to admit it out loud to my family that, yes, I would one day like to have kids. But I'm going to have a little sister and I'm torn between being excited and being scared out of my mind because I haven't taken care of a baby since P was born ten years ago, and yeah, I won't be taking care of her all the time, but I will take care of her occasionally.

I want her to grow up to be what I'm not. I want her to be strong, and confident, and easy-going, and to be the kind of person that people love to love. I want her to have every opportunity in life because there are so many things that I never got to try and I wish that I could have tried them.

I want her to be the person who always makes the world better.

I also don't want to step on my mother's toes any because we already have a slightly precarious relationship, largely because we just don't operate on the same wave-length. My mother is emotional, and I'm more logical, and the two do not always go well together.

All the fun.

In other news, tonight was the second night of RCIA classes. Monsignor O'Neal was teaching us tonight. It was actually really nice. The teaching bit was a bit dull, we were going over the order of mass, but not in a way that really helps me. What would help me is a comprehensive understanding of when to sit and when to stand. I've about got the standing and kneeling bit figured out completely. I don't always have to look at the people around me for that part, but the earlier part I haven't got a figured out. Anyway, it was more of a breakdown of the different parts of the mass. The best part was the Monsignor himself. He's an older Irish gentleman, and he's got a great sense of humor.

Anyway, I'll talk to ya'll again tomorrow.

Yours always,
Tara

Inking bust, blanket progress, and rosary news

Saturday was a long, long day, and it was made longer by the fact that I was supposed to be getting a tattoo done....and it never happened.

I'm incredibly disappointed, not only that I didn't get my tattoo, but also that no one had the decency to call and let me know that they wouldn't be there. I had an appointment for 1pm, and of course, I showed up about 15 minutes early. The shop was closed, with a sign that said "Appointment only". Okay, no big deal, like I said, I had an appointment. I knocked. I waited half an hour. I called three times. The place looked like it had pretty much been cleared out. No one called me and said "Hey, we need to reschedule." or even, "you need to find a different tattoo parlor."

So, instead, the money I set aside for my ink is going to a trip to St. Augustine with Aunt D. We're going to go see the shrine to Our Lady of La Leche and the Mission there, and maybe see the Cathedral Basilica while we're there, if it's opened. They're restoring it right now, so we won't see the full splendor, but I heard it's worth visiting anyway.

I guess that's just how life works. I've already started putting back a little money again, and I've got a place in mind for the next time I care to try. Maybe I'll be able to go by the time my sister comes down to visit again. I'll probably head in about a week or two before with my mock up, and a few questions.

In other news, the blanket is still coming along at a slow but steady pace, which wouldn't be a problem except that Little Bird seems very anxious to enter the world. I'm expecting to get a phone call any day now saying that my baby sister is making her entrance into the world. I'd like to have the blanket finished by then, but I've got at least seven squares left, plus the final stitching to make sure it holds up.

I also bought the yarn for my mom's Christmas present today, as well as buying H's Christmas. I was going to make him socks, but he asked for a particular pocket watch, and as a lover of pocket watches myself, it's hard not to encourage that. I'm also looking at maybe visiting my dad this holiday season, which would be nice, except for the fact that I hate the cold.

Of course, I'll be honest and say I don't hate it near as much as I say I do. I just like to whine about it.

In other news, I got the beads for one of the rosaries I have planned today. Black glass pearls and dark blue drop-shaped crystals will look great with the Pieta center and the crucifix that I have to go with it, which depicts Jesus being taken down off of the cross. I'm hoping to get the beads for the Pope Francis/St. Francis of Assisi rosary tomorrow, and then I'll set them aside for my Etsy shop. I still have two crucifixes that I'm not positive what I want to do with them.

Let me rephrase, I don't have a finished product in mind yet. The centers I have will work fine with one of the crucifixes, but I think the other one might need something a little different. Either way, soon as I figure it out, I'll get the beads and get it made.

I've also got a few ideas rattling around for auto-rosaries, including one that can go on the steering wheel, which I liked because I don't feel comfortable handling beads while driving, but I also lose count if I'm not physically touching something. This is why I like to have an obvious difference between the Aves and the Paters. It makes it a little easier to use. The one I saw that hooked onto the steering wheel seems like it'd be a good alternative to my usual practice of using the knuckles on my fingers.

I'll be back on tomorrow to fill you in on my second RCIA class and my adventures with trying to find the right beads. Aunt D will be out of town, so I'm not sure if I'll hang around Downtown or not. I do want to get a wall crucifix, and I've been eyeing a couple of different ones at Saints and Shamrocks. We'll just have to see how willing I am to kill time tomorrow.

Goodnight all!

Yours always,
Tara

Saturdays with the Saints: St. Guntramnus

Today's edition of Saturdays with the Saints features St. Guntramnus....who is also known by about 8 different names.

Contran

Gontram

Gontran

Gontrano

Gontranno

Gunthrammus

Gunthramnus

Guntram

Guntrammo

Because I don't have a hard enough time remembering peoples' names. 

I couldn't find out a lot about him, but here's what I do have. He was the son of a king and a saint, and the brother of two kings. He divorced his wife, and when her physician couldn't heal her, he killed the physician. (ouch! And people think Malpractice suites are bad!) Upon his conversion he was filled with remorse and so devoted his time, energy, and money to building the church. He was a generous, compassionate, and forgiving ruler, who was known for justly enforcing the laws, regardless of station.

He is the patron saint of divorced people, guardians, and reformed murderers. 

His feast day is March 28th. 

And that's it. That's all I've got. I hope you enjoyed today's edition of Saturdays with the Saints. See you again on Monday!

Yours always,

Tara

Heat, walking shoes, and mail

Once again the chiller is out, which means that it is hot at work again. I can't say I'm to terribly surprised, but it's getting ridiculous. It makes me a little nervous about winter, because I heard they close the building when it gets really cold, which means that I probably wouldn't be working, which, of course, means no paycheck. It's enough to make you sick.

In other news, my dad decided to ask the sales rep at the Nike store near where he lives about walking shoes for women, since I mentioned I needed to get a good pair of walking shoes for Tuesday mornings. Did I mention that I have issues with paying more than $40 for shoes? Even my Doc Martens! I bought them off ebay for $35! And he's talking about $80 walking shoes!

Not that I can't see the value, it's just something I struggle with.

I got a package in the mail today from catholicprayercards.org. It was great! I ordered several saint medals, a St. Brigid's Cross charm, a small Pope Francis pectoral cross, and several rosary centers and crucifixes. I'm most excited about the two rosary centers and the crucifixes I picked to go with them though. I've got some beads in mind for the Pope Francis rosary, but I haven't decided on the beads for the Pieta one.

There were two things I really loved about ordering with catholicprayercards.org. First was interaction. Originally, I had ordered a St. Bernadette/Our Lady of Lourdes medal, but they didn't have it in stock. I received an email letting me know and offering me the choice of any equal priced medal. Second, I loved how fast it shipped. As soon as I had let them know which medal I'd like, they shipped the package and it arrived four days later. Everything was in excellent condition and like I said, I'm really excited about the rosaries.

Another thing that I liked was the prayer cards that came with it for free. I thought that was a nice little touch to make the experience that much more memorable.

Good night for now!

Yours always,
Tara

The Season of Pumpkin Everything is Here!

Did I mention how much I LOVE pumpkin? Pumpkin pie, pumpkin bread, pumpkin ice cream, pumpkin coffee (PUMPKIN COFFEE!!!) and much much more! Pumpkin is one of the most delicious and versatile items to grow on God's green earth and it's lovely!

I was a bad girl. I'm trying to cut back on sugar and caffeine (this is not going very well), and today I said "screw it" and bought a pumpkin pie donut and an iced pumpkin coffee from Dunkin' Donuts. It was totally worth it.

Seriously, that was some good stuff.

But anyway, that's actually the most exciting thing that's happened to me today.

I didn't go to mass this morning. My midweek mass will now be on Tuesdays instead of Wednesdays, though if my boss decides to have me work on Tuesday mornings it'll go back to Wednesdays. I just can't afford to go every day, no matter how much I'd like to.

Anyway, there's really nothing to say. I finally finished the blanket square I was working on and have cast on another one. It's not as wide, so hopefully it won't take too long to knit it up. I'd like to finish it tomorrow if at all possible, and move on the the next one. I have at least four more left, and I'd like to be finished by the end of the month. Then I can move on to other projects.

I think I lost one of my double points for my socks though. It's not in the bag, so I'm hoping it just fell out into the floor of my bedroom. I just had it the other day, after all. If not I'll have to buy another set, which isn't terrible, I guess, it just puts me further behind. That's part of why I'm so anxious to finish this blanket. I feel like I'm falling behind, which bothers me greatly.

Anyway, good night all.

Yours always,
Tara

RCIA class #1 and the hunt for a small wall crucifix without a scary price tag

Ehem.

RCIA. The Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults. Let me be incredibly honest, in the hours leading up to this class, my stomach was in knots. Why? Because I'm not, by nature, an out going person. I like people, don't get me wrong. I like groups of people too. But only if I know them all and have at least a minimum level of friendship with them. So classes of any kind are a bit intimidating.

Of course, everyone reading this who has been through these classes at the Cathedral knows that there was really no reason to be worried. There were a few tables with chairs, extra chairs along the wall, and a grand total of about 40 or so people there. I didn't count.

I took along my knitting, but did not actually pull it out. I probably should have. Knitting helps to relieve nervous energy, and most people are more fascinated by it than annoyed by it. I think I've lost one of my needles in my floor though. St. Anthony has his work cut out for him helping me find it.

My room exists in a state of semi-permanent chaos, with a vague sense of organization where my craft supplies are concerned. I still have boxes that I haven't unpacked, and quite frankly might never get around to unpacking....which is all the more reason to unpack them, because I probably need to get rid of 95% of the stuff in the boxes.

Anyway! The class! Today was a basic intro class. Father Shrek (yes, I did spell that correctly, thank you....I think) gave us a small syllabus (yay!) to give us an idea of what we'll be covering and when we will be out of class, such as St. Patrick's Day. Smart move that one. Savannah is crazy on St. Pat's!  We start to actually get into things more next week.

He also mentioned the blessings thing. Many of you may recall that, for a time, I would go up to receive a blessing during the communion procession. I stopped after reading some stuff that implied that this recent tradition was not well received by those in authority. I'm still conflicted about the whole thing, and honestly, I'm probably going to go nuts trying to figure out what to do. According to Father Shrek, it's fine to do so. I'm still not sure whether I should, or whether I should stay in my seat.

There's some things that I do that I know a lot of people argue over, and frankly, for most of it, I can't really bring myself to care. There is no definitive "this is how it should be" so I figure, as long as I do my best to follow the rules, I'm fine. I'm not going to stop doing something just because a few people don't like it. But in this case, I'm not really sure what to think.

Now that I'm off on Tuesdays, my weekday mass service has been changed from Wednesday to Tuesdays. Added to this is a new exercise regime for Aunt D and I. After mass, we walk. Just, you know, where ever. We walked around for a few hours before stopping by Saints and Shamrocks. Every time I go in there I look at the wall crucifixes, and every time the price tags are scary.

I'm not sure why it is, but depending on the object, my "scary price tag" could be anywhere from $15 to $200. It all depends on the object. Restaurants where everything is $10 or more....scary price tags. A wall crucifix for $50.....scary price tag. A book for $30....scary price tag. Now that's not to say I never make purchases for things with "scary price tags" but I do try to keep it to a minimum. Scary price tags are called that for a reason, after all.

And honestly, I balk at spending $50 for most things. Which does not in any way negate the fact that I realize spending $100 for the complete M*A*S*H series plus the movie and a disc of bonus features is a really good deal. It just means that I still looked every where before finally making the purchase. What can I say? The joys of online shopping. I don't have to ask for help because it's already at my finger tips, I have the option of shopping multiple stores at the same time, and I don't have to deal with people. Brilliant.

Oh! Some quick shop news. While I will be doing a lot of work on personal projects, I am hoping to start on some items for the Etsy store shorty. It's my hope that I will be able to officially open for business by the end of October, beginning of November. I'll be sure to post a link when I open for business.

One thing I've been looking into is a metal casting service. Sadly, metal casting is a bit beyond my skills, but I'd really like to see a better medal for Our Lady Star of the Sea. The primary ones that I've found all look a little.....clinical. I can't help but think that any devotion to our Mother deserves to be a little more vibrant. Not necessarily colorful, but more detailed perhaps. Especially since we have so many beautiful medals for the saints, and other devotions to the Blessed Mother, easily available to us.

There's a lot of beautiful devotions to Mary that don't get a lot of attention. I'm not sure why, maybe because they aren't apparitions? But another really beautiful one is Our Lady of La Leche. I guess maybe I like that one so much because my mother breast fed my brothers, and will do so for my sister as well, but I just think it's lovely to see our Mother like that.

Anyway, I've gone off into rambling again. I really need to stop doing that. So I'm going to sign off, and call it a night. It's been a long, productive day.

Oh! Shameless plug for my favorite (well, a favorite) show on EWTN. Saints Alive! comes on tomorrow night at 5pm Eastern!

Goodnight all!

Yours always,
Tara

Music Box, Stella Maris, and lots of excitement.

So I finished the music box Saturday afternoon and I'm pretty happy with how it turned out. That's the outside. It's a fairly decent sized box that looks like a book.

I went into Photoshop and used some digital scrap-booking patterns and pictures to make the background, bought the little bird and the dragons at Michael's (a container with six dragons cost the same as one large dragon), and got the string lights and music box online. The cover that the bird is sitting on is just some cardboard that I covered with glittery scrapbook paper. Hot glue and staples were very helpful. I have some ideas of what I'm doing now, so the next one should look better.

I want to find a different way to secure the lights though. The staples stuck out and then had to be pushed in and it just....it works, but I'd like something better.

I'm also trying to figure out if I should try to illuminate the smaller ones. Yeah, I'm going to make some smaller ones. I've got an idea of how I want to go about it, so now I just have to give it a shot. I'm thinking something Phantom of the Opera-esque.

There's the inside of the bird's perch. Inside is the battery operated switch for the lights and music box movement itself. I bought the ones in the case because at the time when I bought them, I wasn't really sure what I was going to do with them.

I think, after mine, I'll just purchase the movements, sans cases, and make something for it myself. For one thing, this will save space, and for another, it won't be as difficult to work with.

Ha! It worked! Sorry, been having a little trouble with getting my pictures where I want them to be. That's the one thing I'm not fond of with most blogging sites. I know where I want my picture, just let me put it there!

Anyway, that's my terrible artwork you see to the right. I was trying to keep it within an oval shaped frame, like most of the medals you see, but um....well, I decided making our Blessed Mother look as good as my (really poor) skills would allow was bit more important. I tried.

There's a few things I like about this picture. The sea doesn't look as bad as I had thought it did. And I manages not to completely mess up the hands....I think.

Other than that, I think it's terrible. Really and truly terrible.

I'm a little disappointed at how little there is for Our Lady Star of the Sea. I mean, I know it's not the most popular title our Mother has, but still! It's one of the oldest Marian devotions there is! And it's a beautiful one too.

Although, I'll be honest, part of why I love it might be because I love nautical stuff, despite the fact that I'd sink like a rock.

Anyway, tomorrow is the start of RCIA classes. I'm so excited! I can't wait! I'm also vaguely terrified because *eek* people! but I'll survive. I'm meeting Aunt D for Morning mass, followed by breakfast and walking, then I'm running some errands for my mother, and then who knows what I'll do until time to leave for class.

Can you tell I'm excited? I'm thrilled!

I'll tell you all about it tomorrow!
Yours Always,
Tara

Saturdays with the Saints: St. Monica of Hippo

In today's edition of Saturdays with the Saints we are pleased to introduce St. Monica of Hippo, mother of the very well known saint and doctor of the church, St. Augustine of Hippo.

St. Monica lived from about AD 331-387. She was married to a man named Patricius, a pagan who had an official position in Tagaste (what is now Souk Ahras, Algeria). Both her husband and her mother-in-law had bad tempers and were not known for their good behavior. St. Monica's alms-giving and prayer life annoyed her husband, but he did respect her.

She had three children who survived infancy: sons Augustine and Navigus, and daughter Perpetua. She was unable to have her children baptized, even after Augustine fell ill and then recovered.

Augustine fell into a terrible lifestyle, which he wrote about in his confessions, that caused his mother a great deal of grief. After his return from Carthage, deep in Manichaeism, St. Monica banned him from her table for a time. She later had a vision which convinced her to reconcile with him.

She followed him to Rome, and then, finding that he had left, she followed him further to Milan, where they came to be under the teaching of St. Ambrose, who led St. Augustine to conversion.

Both St. Augustine and St Monica went to Africa where Monica died, at Ostia.

St. Monica is the patron of wives, abuse victims, and her feast day is August 27th.

Thanks for joining me for another Saturday with the Saints!

Yours always,
Tara

Busy Thursdays and Awkward Appointments

So I wasn't able to post yesterday due to not having a computer available. I spent the entire morning with Aunt D, which was lovely, and then went to work, expecting to use the computer there as I normally do. No dice.

Some idjit had put in the wrong password enough times that the computer locked us all out. Until Tech comes out and fixes it, we're S.O.L.

So I brought my personal laptop today. This has the added benefit of having my kindle app on it (since I don't have an e-reader) and all my bookmarked web-pages.

Next Tuesday, the same day RCIA classes start, I'm supposed to drive with Aunt D to her old place (about 5 hrs. away) to pick up her stuff. We're going to attend noon mass at her old parish, and then head back, arriving with (hopefully) an hour to spare before class-time. I like to be early. But anyway, other than making sure Baby has all her fluids where they should be and checking her tires, she should be all ready to go. It's not quite time for another oil change, and I just got the front-end alignment fixed (with tire-rotation), so like I said, we shouldn't have any problems.

I went to the doctor today. Nothing to bad, no worries. She thinks I might have acid re-flux and basically told me to cut back on everything I enjoy in life. I'm kidding, it's not that bad. She did advise I cut back on the sodas (I didn't have the heart to tell her I've already cut my consumption by more than half. I went from going through a 12-pack in 4 days to going through one in two weeks. Progress has been made) and also to take it easy on spicy foods (I refuse to give up Indian food) and fats (she couldn't possibly mean my shepherd's pie). Truthfully, everything she told me I already knew and have already started working on, despite my jests.

Of course, as with any visit, they're doing some tests, just to verify that everything is, indeed, fine. Fech!

I'm reminded why I don't go to see doctors unless I absolutely have to. So many tests and so many ridiculous questions. I spent fifteen minutes answering the questions in the paper work I filled out!

Oh well, Que sera sera.

I bought a few new e-books recently. Thankfully Amazon has a kindle app for computers, since it will likely be a while before I give in an buy any sort of e-reader. I had a tablet, but I could never quite get it to work to my liking, so it was retired.

I've got just about everything for the music boxes. I just need to grab a few pieces of sturdy scrapbook paper and a stapler that I can lay flat. Well, that's all I need to do the one for Little Bird. I still need another set of lights and a small celtic cross to go inside mine. I'm really pleased with the lights. They came in today and are just the right size, really bright, and operated by a small battery pack. In all, I'm thrilled.

I might still check the craft store while I'm there though, just in case they have anything better there.

Anyway, that's all there is to tell for now. I'm back down to 36 hrs because of the RCIA, but I'm hoping I can pick up Saturdays in the future, and even so, I'll still be doing pretty well. I'll buy the yarn for mom's socks soon, and probably P's as well. H and Step-dad are both getting plain grey socks, so that won't be hard, and as soon as Little Bird is born I'll get started on the dress. Hopefully Granma's shawl won't be too hard, and I've already got more than enough yarn for the advent calender.

I'm hoping to open an Etsy store following the holidays, where I'll sell rosaries and chaplets, and maybe music boxes too. We'll see how it all works out. Look for more info in the future!

Yours always,
Tara

Minor frustrations, schedule changes, and why I treat holidays with kid gloves

I decided, looking at my progress and looking at how far I had still to go, that I would not be able to finish this blanket before the baby shower, though I should still have it finished before Little Bird is born....assuming she goes to term, that is. Therefore the new project is the music box. While this project does have some unique challenges of it's own, I'm fairly confident that I can get this finished by Sunday evening. I've got the music box movement, the book box, the little toy dragons, plenty of cardboard to hide the movement, and some nice paper to make the whole thing look a little more polished.

However, it occurred to me that it might be a tad bit dark inside the box, so I decided to look for a set of small, battery operated led string lights to illuminate it. It took forever to find a set that didn't cost a ridiculous amount and that would arrive before Saturday! I kept finding 7' and 3 meter sets. I need three feet not thirty feet! Ridiculous. Of course, now I have to borrow one of my mom's staplers which lays flat (so I can staple them in.) I also will probably do that with the little dragon that's going to be hanging from the top of the book, along with a little dab of hot glue, just to make sure he doesn't fly out of the box.

I have four or five little dragons and a tiny bird to go inside. I haven't even started on mine, but that's okay. I don't think mine's going to be as labor intensive. I've made backgrounds to go inside the boxes, and I'll measure tomorrow to make sure I size them just right before I print them.

Aunt D called me yesterday to let me know that, due to some up-coming event, our parish is only holding mass in the afternoons. I sort of already previous plans, so no mass today. I don't like that, not one bit, but I'll be going tomorrow, and that's what's important. Missing mass really does irritate me though. I like morning mass. It starts the day off nicely.

Of course, as mentioned in various posts, the holidays approach swiftly, and already I've begun to pace myself because if I don't, I'll burn out before the season even gets here, and then be even more of a Grinch than I naturally am. (Think about it, a largely introverted individual during the holiday season....yeah, nope.) I'm hoping that I can get this blanket off the needles and get my mother's Christmas gift on, then do Stepda's, and H's before Little Bird is born. Hopefully I can get P's knocked out too. I also have Granma's (which will take longer) and Hazel's. L's, Cas', and K's. Lots of knitting, very little time, and knitting burn out on the horizon. Here's praying that I'll finish it all.

I also have a stocking, an advent calender and all it's little ornaments, my socks, and a shawl that I'd really like to make!

It's enough to drive a gal mad!

Yours always,
Tara