Like many people of all ages, I struggle with motivation. I find it difficult to drag myself out of bed, struggle to push myself to excel, and have issues caring about most things.
This, obviously, is a problem. It's not an easy problem to admit that you have. If you struggle with motivation, you're lazy and deserve to fail. Now I won't say there isn't any truth to that, that the entire idea is unfounded, because it's not. Sometimes I am just being lazy. And then sometimes I'm overwhelmed, sometimes I'm tired, sometimes, I'm just not present.
All of which only serves to make the problems worse. It gets even worse though, when you succeed for a short period of time, say a month or so, and then find yourself back in the rut. You start off getting to be by 12:30 and getting up by 7, and then the next thing you know, it's 1:30 and you haven't even tried to fall asleep. Your alarm goes off and you hit the snooze button (another black mark against second sift, getting up early feels fairly meaningless.)
You realize there's a problem and decide to fix it.....except you don't. Maybe you do it properly for two or three days in a row, but then you're tired, your body is still adjusting back to the proper schedule. It's so easy to get into bad habits, and so hard to get back out of them.
Which is where I'm at now. I know I need to get up earlier. I know I need to (finally) finish unpacking my room. I know I need to clean up more often, and to a higher standard. I know I need to eat better, work out more, and spend less time on my computer.
It's not easy, especially since there is so much to be done. So much I need and want to do, and the time that's available is never enough. But it has to be.
So, I'm making myself accountable right now, and maybe putting it down where everyone who wants to read it can will help keep me going. The goals are simple.
I'd like to lose a minimum of 10lbs.
I'd like to cook at least once a week. Since it's just the two of us at home, that's actually more than enough.
I want to get my room unpacked completely and put together properly by the end of the month.
I want to save up enough money for my tattoo by Christmas.
I want to make at least two items for my Etsy store every week. Not necessarily big things, but something nonetheless.
I want to go through all of my clothes and get rid over anything and everything that doesn't fit or that I don't wear, regardless of what it is.
I want to get up by 7:00 every morning, and be in bed by 12:30 every night, earlier on nights that I can manage it.
Finally, I want to say the rosary at least once a day. I've fallen out of the habit, and I need to get back to it. Especially since I still haven't memorize Hail Holy Queen.
So there we have it. I start tonight, there's not a lot off that list I can do tonight, but I can pray the rosary, and I can get to bed earlier. I have to set out a few items that I'm taking photos of tomorrow, my camera, batteries, and make sure my sd card for my camera is empty so there's plenty of room, but other than that, I don't have a lot left to do.
Pray for me, as I try my best to conquer my own weaknesses through God.
Yours always,
Tara
