A tiny Irish apparition and the dramatics that can come with my job

I've recently added a few new things to my little ( for now) collection of Catholic odds and ends. I've bought a small statue of Our Lady of Grace, the Shining Lights doll version of Our Lady of Knock, and tomorrow or Monday (depending on when I make it over there) I'm going to pick up a small statue of St. Patrick from Saints and Shamrocks. I'm actually kind of hoping they'll have St. Barbara as well, but if not, that's fine.

I also bought a second Shining Lights St. Nicholas. I figured it would be a good gift for Little Bird, while not being too Catholic, which would bother my mom. St. Nicholas and St. Patrick, she could probably live with. Maybe even St. Francis, though I'm not willing to bet on it. But um....any one else? Especially one of the Apparition dolls (Marian apparitions from around the world)....yeah, no. That's just a little too Catholic for my mother, I'm sure.

She gave away Christmas ornaments from Ettal Abbey because they had the Madonna and Child on them! I mean, okay, so they went to a friend whose family is Catholic, but still! Simple gold colored ornaments with the Madonna and Child. They were a set, two royal blue ones with the Abbey on them, two gold ones with the Madonna and Child. Explain to me why the Abbey is acceptable but the Madonna and Child is not?

Anyway, my huffing and puffing aside, I'm hoping that I didn't make a mistake and misjudge it....but mom knows I like the more traditional St. Nicholas figure (and always have) so hopefully it won't be a problem.

Oh! The drama of my job! So, first off, I'm not a secretary, but, for some reason, the wisdom of the people here says I am to answer the phone. Keep in mind, I don't know half of what we offer here, and I have trouble finding everything for the other half. So, I had a lady call wanting information I didn't have, and instead of someone taking and picking up the phone to take the call, I'm given a convoluted set of instructions on how to get to the information. Needless to say, it didn't work. And then! Not to long ago, I had a lady call her ride, loudly, asking where where they and didn't they realize she needed to be picked up 40 minutes ago, and they know that's when she needed to be picked up!

Ah, such fun.

I'll be honest, I like my job, even if the climate control leaves something to be desired and the communication breakdown is of epic proportions. I do still like my job, but some days.....some days would be better with something stronger than coffee.

Yours always,
Tara

Yesterday and today: Doctor's appointment, RCIA, and why cooking channels are brilliant

I mention the brilliance of cooking channels, but I should add a caveat to that.....they're brilliant until watching them makes you forget to get on and write your blog post. Yep, that's what happened. I got distracted by Chopped, and then an episode of this show on ABC called Forever. An immortal medical examiner who solves crimes.....even if he weren't really attractive and in possession of a nice accent, the concept would probably still be enough to grab my attention. But I'm not going to complain about the rest of it.

So to recap yesterday, I got up late, puttered around the house, went to the doctor's (apparently, I'm in good health and should not need to see her again for another year.) visited my mom and sister, came home, backed chocolate pumpkin muffins, dashed off to class, came home, had a beer, and wrestled with unanswerable philosophical questions.

All in all, not a bad day. Even if the beer wasn't quite what I was hoping for. I keep hoping to find something with a similar flavor to Guinness but without the weight of a Guinness....if that makes any sense at all.

Anyway, today I got up early, went to mass, puttered around Savannah (with some grumbling at my clock for moving so slowly) and went to Saints and Shamrocks. I love going into that store, but I need to be very careful when I do because I want to take half of the store home. And I just can't afford to do that.

I bought a few new saint medals to add to my charm necklace, two laminated prayer cards to go with the chaplet and the rosary on Etsy, a little statue of Our Lady of Grace, and a copy of Gaelic Storm's "The Full Irish: Greatest Hits".

I kind of feel like I've passed a milestone here. I now own a statue of our Mother. Okay, yeah, it's not the biggest, nor the most detailed, but it's still a very nice little statue. It just makes it all a little more real, if that makes sense.

As for Gaelic Storm, what can I say? I love celtic rock.

I'm hoping to get the listings up by the end of the week. I'm not sure how well it will do, but I hope it'll work out. I've got some ideas for more chaplets, as well as a few other crafts. I've got my heart set on a resin kit for jewelry making that I think will be brilliant, but the stuff I'm listing now needs to do well first.

Anyway, hopefully I'll remember to drag myself away from the tv tomorrow night as well.

Yours always,
Tara

Knit, purl, and a very tiny person

I'm hard at work on that baby blanket still. I'm not sure if I'll ever finish it at this rate. It's beginning to drive me nuts. Especially since I still have so much more to work on. A dress, a scarf, a shawl, socks, and on and on and on goes the list. Next year, I'm starting in January!

I spent some time with Mom and Little Bird today. Not as much as I would have liked, but still, some time. I had to run into Savannah to try to find something to make it easier for Mom to nurse, only for the store to be out. And, to add to it, the local Walmart had it. I drove in circles, but it was fine.

Little bird is so tiny. Unfortunately, she's just too long for the preemie onesies to fit her. The newborn stuff swallows her. She does have a few outfits, but still. She's just so tiny!

It's been a rather dull day. I went to mass this morning, which was lovely, and spent time with my Mom and sister, which was great. I'm getting better at admitting that, yes, I do want to hold her. Once I'm holding her, I'm fine, it's just saying that I want to hold her that I have trouble with.

Hey, nobody said I was normal.

Other than that though, it's been a dull day. I worked on my room some, made some tentative plans to get another book shelf and maybe a hat stand, if I can find one. I'm waiting for the beads to arrive for the St. Francis of Assisi/Pope Francis rosary I'm planning.

My computer and I continue to be at odds over Catholic TV. It's getting a bit ridiculous. Hopefully I'll be able to work it out soon, because this constant struggle to get it to do what I want is more than a little frustrating.

So far, I've been doing pretty well with praying the rosary nightly. I'm struggling with the bedtime/morning alarm a bit, but we're getting there. Slowly, but with prayers, surely, we're getting there.

I'm not sure if I want to randomly generate a saint tomorrow, or if I want to do something a little different. I'm tempted to do a post on St. Francis, but I'm thinking about finding a saintly Franciscan instead. I'll figure it out, and if you want to leave a comment with your opinion, I'd love to hear it.

Yours always,
Tara

Little Bird is Here!

So, I was supposed to write a post of St. Nicholas of Tolentino for today's edition of Saturdays with the Saints. This, obviously did not happen because my little sister decided she'd waited long enough and she was going to come, dang it, whether we liked it or not.

This means it's a very good thing I didn't go to St. Augustine today, though, given how long it took, I probably could have made it. Even so, I'm glad I didn't go because I'd have been a mess....well, more than I already was.

Despite saying that I was going to hide out at DQ, I actually did go. No, I did not watch, and no, I did not drink (though God knows I really wanted a whiskey!). What I did do was knit, pace, pray, cook, and clean.

I also got to dress my sister in her first outfit, which wasn't as awkward as I had thought it would be. It's been a long time since I dressed a baby, and I've never dressed a newborn before. I was 12 when P was born, and I think he was 3 or 4 months old before I helped change and dress him.

She was really tiny, Much tinier than I've ever held, being just shy of 6lbs, and so incredibly adorable.

The hat that I made to match her outfit did fit, but because she was nursing, it kept falling off.

Anyway, the birth went well, according to the midwife. Both mom and sister are doing good, and assuming I get to bed in the next hour or so, I'll still get to mass tomorrow.

Good night all!

Yours always,
Tara

Long days and sitting on edge

Last night was a longer than usual night, which means that today has been a very long and tiring day. I have been tired and short tempered all day, and my vocabulary has sounded like a drunken sailors....sadly, no alcohol was imbibed to aid my colorful language. Nor will it be for a few days, at most, because my mother is expecting to go into labor either tonight or tomorrow.

Apparently, my little sister has decided that she's waited long enough, thank you very much, and she's quite tired of waiting. Mom hasn't gone into labor yet, but she's in the early stages, so she's expecting it to start up very soon.

I'm both excited, and terrified.

I like kids. I will swear up and down, left and right, that children are monsters and I want nothing to do with them, but the truth is a little more complicated.

Truth is, until my parent's got divorced, it literally never occurred to me that I might not get married and have kids. I certainly didn't plan on going out and settling with the first fellow I found and having a litter of little people, but I did think that, one day, I would find some one and have an undetermined number of kids.

My parents got divorced, forcing me to question pretty much everything I thought I knew about love and marriage, and I swore left, right, and center that I was never getting married and never having kids to any one who even remotely suggested that I might one day want that.

Honest truth. I want that. I want to get married and have kids. I want to have that. Especially now, as I'm entering the Catholic church, because there's so much that I would love to experience. Christening and first communion and all those lovely little milestones that parents prepare their kids for and that I'd like, God willing, to one day prepare my own kids for.

The thing is, it's been so long, and I've said it for so long, that I actually feel a little awkward around kids now. And I'm not willing to admit it out loud to my family that, yes, I would one day like to have kids. But I'm going to have a little sister and I'm torn between being excited and being scared out of my mind because I haven't taken care of a baby since P was born ten years ago, and yeah, I won't be taking care of her all the time, but I will take care of her occasionally.

I want her to grow up to be what I'm not. I want her to be strong, and confident, and easy-going, and to be the kind of person that people love to love. I want her to have every opportunity in life because there are so many things that I never got to try and I wish that I could have tried them.

I want her to be the person who always makes the world better.

I also don't want to step on my mother's toes any because we already have a slightly precarious relationship, largely because we just don't operate on the same wave-length. My mother is emotional, and I'm more logical, and the two do not always go well together.

All the fun.

In other news, tonight was the second night of RCIA classes. Monsignor O'Neal was teaching us tonight. It was actually really nice. The teaching bit was a bit dull, we were going over the order of mass, but not in a way that really helps me. What would help me is a comprehensive understanding of when to sit and when to stand. I've about got the standing and kneeling bit figured out completely. I don't always have to look at the people around me for that part, but the earlier part I haven't got a figured out. Anyway, it was more of a breakdown of the different parts of the mass. The best part was the Monsignor himself. He's an older Irish gentleman, and he's got a great sense of humor.

Anyway, I'll talk to ya'll again tomorrow.

Yours always,
Tara

 

I finished the pumpkin baby hat, with little I-cord vine and leaves. You can just barely see my long-suffering St. Patrick sitting underneath it in the picture. He goes with me to work every day, poor fellow. It's not too bad, I hope. He sits on the desk, smiling gently from his perch.

 

I've also almost finished reading The Bad Catholic's Guide to Wine, Whiskey & Song, which means I'll be moving on to The Bad Catholic's Guide to Good Living.

 

I get back to working on the baby blanket tomorrow, and I'm so thankful that the weekend is here! I have work to do on my room, more clothes to go through and so on, and I'm going to try and go to morning mass this coming Sunday. I usually attend the 10am mass, because I'm lazy and like to sleep in. It also makes it easier to avoid going to my family's Baptist church.

 

I'd like to start getting everything in order for Christmas soon. Presents, decorations, and such, all prepped and ready for the upcoming holiday season. I know I'm starting early, but I have too, with most of my gifts being hand-knits and with my appalling lack of decorations of any kind, I need to start now so I'm not perpetually broke when the holidays season does arrive.

 

I've got several books on my to-read list, including the Cape Light series, and a variety of Catholic books. RCIA classes start the week following next and I'm excited.

 

There are no Irish dance classes for beginning adults so far, which is disappointing, but not an insurmountable problem, by any means. Man made instructional DVDs for a reason, after all, and it would be more enjoyable than pilates I'm sure.  

 

There's a festival coming up that I'd like to go to. It's on the same ay as my appointment with the tattoo artist, but I'm sure I can work with that. I can go after the appointment, though it'll be nice if I can get a ride, and therefore enjoy the more spirited aspects of the fun without breaking my rule of no drinking after imbibing...even if I am still well under the legal limit. Unfortunately, I live with a tee-o-taler, and I hate putting my mom out. (Besides, if she wasn't pregnant, I'd be the Designated Driver. Or step-dad would be...)

 

There's not much else to say today. Hopefully there won't be any interruption in Saturdays with the Saints, but tomorrow will be kind of busy, so no promises.

 

Yours always,

Tara

Livestream issues and pumpkin baby hats

As usual, I pulled up the EWTN radio link to listen to Catholic Answers Live, only for what ever reason the link did not want to work, so I had to find a different link. Thank you Ave Maria Radio for your handy live-stream.

I set the baby blanket aside. I just don't have enough time to finish it, so I've casted on a baby hat in orange. I'll add a stem and leaves and make it a pumpkin hat. Little Bird is supposed to be born a little more than a week before Halloween, so it's appropriate.

I've just about finished reading The Bad Catholic's Guide to Wine, Whiskey & Song. I love this book! So does H, based on what she's heard from me. Apparently, the 7.1 liters of alcohol consumed by her Slavic ancestors at a normal wedding is something to be proud of. I can't blame her, I feel great pride at shenanigans of my Irish ancestors (as chronicled under Irish Cream, among other entries.)

I am so looking forward to the weekend, and, other than my mother's baby-shower, I have no plans what-so-ever. That sounds nice. I'm going to knock out this hat, work on that blanket, and sleep!

I'm not sure if I want to get up and go to mass in the morning or not. I'm tired, but I don't know if that's because I didn't get enough sleep, or if I've gotten too much sleep lately. All the joy of the human body.

My granma thinks I need to mention it to the doctor when I go on the 12th, but I really think it's just a cycle that I need to break. Get ten minutes too much sleep and you might end up feeling even more like a zombie than if you got ten too few.

I feel better when I drag myself out of bed, but I'm a lazy bum and don't get up if I don't have to. All the fun.

Of course, adding to my lethargy is the weather, with it's on-again-off-again raining. This is good at bedtime when I'm trying to go to bed, but not so much when I'm bored out of my mind at work.

There's a new program on EWTN tonight that I'm looking forward to called Catholics Come Home. It looks like it'll be good.

Anyway, I'm signing off for the night.

Yours always,
Tara

Feverish knitting and up-coming baby showers

Coming up very shortly, my mom is having a baby shower, courtesy of her friends. The following Sunday, she has another one, courtesy of her church. I have nothing held in reserve for either of these showers, but have already said I will attend the first. (I might skive out on the second, or buy some felt and make a birdie baby mobile or something.) However for this up-coming shower, I am frantically attempting to finish a baby blanket.

Not the giant patchwork afghan that I'm making that I hope to have finished before her first birthday at the latest. But I have, instead, started a new blanket to hopefully finish this week. Of course, rather than do the sane thing, that is, pull out the circulars and knit it in one big piece, I'm working it in several pieces. Several cabled pieces.

Basically this blanket will be a great big cable sampler that will wrap Little Bird up all snug and give me all sorts of practice on needle juggling. So far I've made four of the as yet unspecified number of panels and have used the honeycomb cable, the Stag horn cable, and the chunky braid.

I have about six colors in play, primarily in blue, with cream, tan, and silver. I'm going for an ocean feel. Besides, those are the colors my mother prefers.

I can't believe I'm defending my color choices on here. No body cares! Except apparently a lot of people care and I think it's ridiculous!

Anyway, it goes with out saying that my socks have been put on hold for an undetermined period of time until I finish.

Yours always,
Tara

p.s. I've been having a hard time getting to sleep lately. Any one have any suggestions?

Ouch!

Last night, or really, this morning, was not fun. I woke up at 2am to fairly bad pain in my abdomen, just below the rib cage. The pain persisted until about 5:20, making it impossible to get back to sleep. I'm planning, much to my displeasure, to make an appointment with a doctor and see about getting it checked out. This isn't the first time that this has happened, so I figure it's something that has to be looked at.

I have no real desire to do so, mind you. I hate doctors, hospitals, and pretty much anything related to the medical profession as it applies to living, breathing human beings. Medical examiners are cool, and the anatomy of the human body is fascinating, but hospitals make me anxious. Also, the last time I was at a hospital, it was because Mom was there because of a scare with Little Bird and the chapel was closed! Who closes a chapel in a hospital? I mean, ok, so maybe the good priest can't be there all the time, need to get a little sleep himself, but seriously?

I ended up leaning against a wall in a hallway, praying for my family, and that I'd remain undisturbed while falling apart. I don't do well when family members are in danger. I actually scared the living daylights out of the poor fellow I asked about the hours for the chapel. He thought someone had died! I mean, I'm sure someone had, but not any of my someones.

I digress. Point is, I'm not a fan of hospitals. At. ALL.

I fixed my poor teddy bear before bed last night. After 20 yrs of dedicated service, my beloved Teddy (yes, his name is Teddy) has begun to show his age. I'd send him to a stuffed animal doctor, but I don't trust people. And this is a highly important member of the Ursa Fluffus family! He's been there through illness, through injuries, through moves, through new family members, through funerals, he's even talked me out of running away! (I was and continue to be a weird kid.) And yes, I do still snuggle with my teddy bear at night!

Anyway, tomorrow I'm going to morning mass for the Feast of the Assumption, and then taking my truck in to get the front end alignment fixed. After that, I'm cleaning the house. I'm hoping I'll get the chance to make a short trip down to St. Augustine Saturday. There's a mission there I'd like to see for Nuestra Señora de La Leche y Buen Parto (Our Lady of Milk and Happy Delivery). Maybe she'll accept prayers from a concerned older sister.

It'd also be a good chance to get some great photos. Last time I went, I didn't take any pictures. Well, okay, I took a few, but since I was there to see a friend, they weren't really pictures of St. Augustine.

My mother tends to be the shutter happy one, a fact which induced misery as a child (and I count that all the way up to the present day and beyond, truthfully. As long as I'm her child) but I enjoy taking pictures as well. I'm usually content with a simple digital camera, while my mom like the bulky professional models. Of course, I've never stopped loving the old Polaroids that spit the picture out and develop it in 10 seconds. Those cameras, and their film, should always be available to the public.

I think my writing highlights a problem I have with life very well. I'll be 22 at the end of this month....and I still feel like a kid. I have a job, responsibilities, bills...and I still feel like a kid. Nobody tells you that being a 20-something is terrifying because you're expected to "be an adult" and you barely even feel like a teenager most of the time, let alone an adult. But then I wonder if that's just what adulthood is? A bunch of people who still feel like kids, but they have a little more experience in life, and so humanity fumbles along.

Except for that weirdo who literally never smiles. Like, they are the human personification of dour, imposing old buildings, that call to mind horror stories of Nuns with rulers and pinched faces, who you can literally never imagine as children because they are made out of stone!

I don't mean the Eeyore people. The gloomy people who are really good, and sweet, and want to help, but just can't help but be a Marshwiggle and sigh. You know, those people are actually really nice, because they're love little things. Eeyore was thrilled (in his own way) to receive a popped balloon and an empty jar from his friends, even if it wasn't what they'd meant to give him, because they'd tried really hard, and they did it because they loved him.

Nor do I mean the people like Rabbit, who grouse about boisterous people, who like the quiet, who like their work, and would rather not be interrupted when they're working because it's important. They can be very generous, and really do love their friends, even if they don't always want to be around them. They're a bit fussy, and a bit stuck-up some times, but they don't mean any harm.

I mean the people who are just the human personification of stoic, and that's their entire personality. Stoic, mature, reserved. These aren't bad traits, but in this sort of person, they're stifling!

Meanwhile, I'm over here as something of a cross between all the Hundred Acre Woods' beloved inhabitants. But Piglet and Eeyore are still my favorites. I'm sure that says something about my personality (paging: Dr. Freud?) but I'm not going to look to deeply into it.

Anyway, that's all for now! I'm going to get something to eat.
Yours always,
Tara

Out and about

So, I didn't make it to mass this morning. My mom and I had already planned on going to Whole Foods today, but we didn't decide on a time until last night. I might have been able to make mass, and then go, but I didn't want to risk it.

It was nice though, just to spend time with my mom. Little Bird is apparently quite active, so Mom was grumbling a bit (I would be to, though, if I had tiny limbs digging into my internal organs), but on the whole, she was good. Apparently she tires out easier with this pregnancy than when she had my brothers or I. It's because of her age, but she doesn't like hearing that.

I've got some laundry and such still left to do, as well as prepping for work tomorrow. I always struggle to accomplish anything on days like today though. The weather is so nasty and wet and all I want to do is sleep. It's a bit of a pain, honestly.

I've been waiting for my packages to arrive. I've got three books and some yarn coming. I'm so excited! Especially since the yarn is for the socks I was wanting to make. I usually have pretty good luck with shipping times, so I might get something tomorrow. I won't know until I get home from work, but I might get something.

Also, is anyone else freaking out over the trailer for the upcoming Hobbit movie, The Hobbit: The Battle of Five Armies? I'm so excited! And vaguely terrified! I'm not ready for my favorite characters to die/be injured/be emotionally damaged! And, dear readers, I know exactly which ones will kick the bucket.

Well, possibly. There was a rumor floating around that one of them might be spared. I doubt it, but I wouldn't mind at all.

Tomorrow I'll have more to say, I'm sure. Oh! And tomorrow I'm going to do a post about a randomly generated saint! I love history, and the stories of the saints, so it should be lots of fun!

Yours always,
Tara

Thank You Mother Mary, St. Patrick, and St. Anne!

So, the conversation with my mother went far better than I had hoped! While I can never see my mother even considering converting, she took the news that I was considering it far better than I had thought she would.

Maybe because she's pregnant?

I've been thanking God, His Son, and Mother Mary, as well as the (fairly long) list of saints whose intersession I requested ever since lunch time. It is an incredible weight off of my mind. I truly thought that she would blow up.....or have a melt down.

I know it sounds like I'm not giving my mother any credit, but my mother is an incredibly emotional person. She doesn't grumble, she rages! A bit of a terrifying thing for her daughter, you know?

Still no luck on finding a priest to help me. I'd attend the RCIA classes in a heart beat, but I work on weeknights, so that just isn't going to happen. And, of course, they don't have morning, or Friday classes. Life, it seems, can never be simple.

If worst comes to worst, I can always talk to my boss. Maybe work Friday in exchange for having a weeknight off. I'd rather not though, I hate causing trouble for other people. 

If no one has called me back by Thursday, I'm going to try calling again. I also plan on checking out a parish a little closer to home. Since I started going to mass, I've been going to the Cathedral of St. John the Baptist in Savannah, which is close enough to not be a ridiculous drive, but is still farther away than is really practical for a 20-something making minimum wage. Thankfully I don't have many expenses.

I'm not really looking forward to it though. I really do love going to the cathedral, even if I do feel as though I'm too loud every time I enter. A side-effect of six years spent in Germany, I think. 

Besides, I hate being the new person at a church. Hence, weekday mass. Wednesday morning will probably be when I go. Hopefully, there won't be a lot of people. 

Being shy is like being Tony Stark in your head, and Castiel in real life. (why yes, I do watch Supernatural, occasionally.) 

On a different note, due to my mother's pregnancy, my knitting of late has all been for an exceptionally small person. On one hand. I'm thrilled....on the other, I'm terrified! I've never knitted sweaters! Cardigans! Dresses! I've only just gotten confident enough to try socks! Dear readers, I've been knitting for ten years, and never once made a pair of socks. 

I do have a lovely pair planned though, so here's keeping our fingers crossed, yes?

If all goes well, the men in my life (father, step-father, and brothers) will all be getting socks for Christmas. 

And, dear readers, they will like it!

Your's always,

Tara

Let's get our feet wet, shall we?

Well, here we are, attempt two at blogging (legit blogging, not tumblr blogging). Hopefully this attempt will go better than the last one.

Quick intro!
So, my name, well, my pen-name, is Tara Hills. I'm single, in my early twenties, and live in South East Georgia, USA.

That's it, that's all you get.

Just kidding!

I'm the oldest of three children. My parents got divorced my last year of high school. Both are remarried (to other people), and my mother is pregnant. Yep, you heard me, pregnant. I'm gonna have a little sister!!! FINALLY!

I have two little brothers.....I'm going to enjoy watching this little girl boss the boys around. She will have them wrapped around her tiny little fingers, mark my words, dear readers, mark my words.

I knit, crochet, paint (poorly, btw), sew (with moderate success), write poetry, and every spring I attempt to garden with absolutely no success. Such is my life.

I'm also a Baptist....who's considering converting to Catholicism.

This will be fun.
And so, dear readers, if there are any, you'll get to follow me along as I bumble my way through life. My next post will be tomorrow or Tuesday, depending on how lunch with my mother goes. I've been putting off telling her telling her that I'm considering converting for about a month, so......
The post will either be titled "Thank you Mother Mary,St. Patrick, and St. Anne!" or "Why my Mother is Crazy"

Pray for me, readers. Pray hard.
Your friend,
Tara Hills