What's the German word for 'Headache'?

Because I can feel one developing even as I attempt to keep my cool.

Just once I'd like the world to operate in a sane and logical manner.

Apparently, I was supposed to work last night.....only no one told me, and no one thought to call me either. So my co-worker had to work a double, and I felt terrible and torqued all at once. I could really have used those hours. Plus, why did no one tell me? All my supervisor said when I told her I was available to work that day was "ok", which is what she normally says to acknowledge that I said something. She didn't say, "Ok, I'll put you on the schedule" or anything.

On top of that, her supervisor apparently didn't tell her about my time-off notice for my trip to see my dad, because she brought the schedule for the next two weeks and had me scheduled to work the day I fly out and the day after that! Now, I did as she told me to, she told me to inform him of the days I'd need off, so why didn't he let her know? Since she's the one that does the scheduling?

Plus, he's supposedly hired two new people, which is mental when we already have to double up on one shift at one of the locations!

More and more I think I really need to get a new job. I had planned on holding off until I could drop the application for the job in Germany, but I'm not sure if things will work out that way. Especially since, even if I get that job, I won't be over there until May or June. Of course, my frustration is based largely off how little people care about their employees, but hey, there's nothing I can do about that, is there?

As long as I'm making a half-way decent pay-check here, I'll stick with it. It's not a terrible job, and it pays the few bills I have (although, let's be honest, if I didn't live with my Granma, I'd literally have to choose between utilities and food, and that's if I was working a full 40hrs a week).

Sorry, I know you guys aren't on here to read my ranting.

So, I'm almost finished with Granma's shawl. I'd have finished it last week except I can't knit at work anymore. After that, I have to get my step-mother's cowl on the needles so I can get if finished. I'd rather work on my shawl, or mom's socks, but mom understands that I might not get it done in time. I really need to get some more stuff put up on Etsy, but I just haven't felt like making anything. I've got the stuff and the ideas, and I want nothing to do with any of it right now.

It's that massive headache I mentioned at the top of the post.

But, all hope is not lost! Starting January, I'll starting knitting for next Christmas, that way, by the time Christmas rolls around, I'll have everything ready. And my headache will be cut in half.

Hopefully, next year I'll be posting from Germany. Say a prayer for me, please? Hopefully everything works out.

Anyway, thanks for reading, and feel free to drop me a message!

Yours always,
Tara

Babies, blankets, and the fun of waiting

If you've been following my blog for any length of time, you know my mother is pregnant and ready to deliver any day now. This means a lot of waiting, and a lot of worrying. Because, you know, that's kind of what I do. Especially when family is involved. There's still no news on that front, but we're literally waiting for her to go any second now. Oh the joy.

In other news, I think I've just about finished the blanket that I started at the end of last month. I had hoped to finish it quickly, but I've been knitting non-stop since she found out she was pregnant and I'm having trouble slogging through projects. Even my socks, which I'm thrilled to be working on, aren't coming along as fast as they should be, even with me working on them sporadically. 

Adding to the problem is the fact that my knitting isn't done. One of my brother's requested a pocket watch for Christmas, so I abandoned the thought of knitting him socks in favor of the watch. That still leaves me with four pairs of socks, because my mom wants a pair, a baby dress, a shawl, a scarf, my socks, a large afghan (made in pieces) and a scarf that I've got rattling around in my brain. 

I've also got my eyes on some resin for jewelry making, more rosaries, and a knitted advent calender. 

Suffice to say, I'm a little anxious. 

I've also got my music boxes. 

The good news, I guess, is that I'm not going to St. Augustine this weekend. Like a lot of plans I try to make, it fell through. Aunt D won't be back from her home town until early in the morning, and she won't feel up to going all the way down to St. Augustine. 

This, truthfully, is probably a good thing. With Little Bird waiting in the wings for her grand entrance into the world, it's probably best I stay close to home. Even so, I am still a little disappointed. Instead, I figure I'll run into Savannah and do a little shopping, then get some craft projects hopefully knocked out, and see if I can't finally get the enormous box out of the middle of my room. 

My step-dad has a mini-fridge that he's going to let me have, so I also want to get a piece of vinyl or stone tile for it to sit on so it's not sitting on the carpet in my bedroom. This is fantastic because I'll finally be able to have a cold drink when I get home without having my alcohol in my grandmother's fridge. Given that she's a tee-to-taler, I generally prefer to keep my drinking to a minimum, and keep it out of her space. 

I might also stop by Goodwill, and see if I can't find any good jackets, cardigans, skirts, and jewelry that I can recycle and reuse. I've got a million ideas, and a million things I need for them, and very little money to spend on them. My hope is that, once I get the shop up and running, hopefully in late October/early November, just in time for the holidays, I'll be able to turn the money that comes in around and sink it into more crafts. Making things is almost addicting because there's always a new idea running through your head, a different way to color it, a different stitch pattern, or even a new technique that you're dying to try out. 

So yeah, hopefully, that's what I'll get out of it.

Yours always,

Tara

Long days and sitting on edge

Last night was a longer than usual night, which means that today has been a very long and tiring day. I have been tired and short tempered all day, and my vocabulary has sounded like a drunken sailors....sadly, no alcohol was imbibed to aid my colorful language. Nor will it be for a few days, at most, because my mother is expecting to go into labor either tonight or tomorrow.

Apparently, my little sister has decided that she's waited long enough, thank you very much, and she's quite tired of waiting. Mom hasn't gone into labor yet, but she's in the early stages, so she's expecting it to start up very soon.

I'm both excited, and terrified.

I like kids. I will swear up and down, left and right, that children are monsters and I want nothing to do with them, but the truth is a little more complicated.

Truth is, until my parent's got divorced, it literally never occurred to me that I might not get married and have kids. I certainly didn't plan on going out and settling with the first fellow I found and having a litter of little people, but I did think that, one day, I would find some one and have an undetermined number of kids.

My parents got divorced, forcing me to question pretty much everything I thought I knew about love and marriage, and I swore left, right, and center that I was never getting married and never having kids to any one who even remotely suggested that I might one day want that.

Honest truth. I want that. I want to get married and have kids. I want to have that. Especially now, as I'm entering the Catholic church, because there's so much that I would love to experience. Christening and first communion and all those lovely little milestones that parents prepare their kids for and that I'd like, God willing, to one day prepare my own kids for.

The thing is, it's been so long, and I've said it for so long, that I actually feel a little awkward around kids now. And I'm not willing to admit it out loud to my family that, yes, I would one day like to have kids. But I'm going to have a little sister and I'm torn between being excited and being scared out of my mind because I haven't taken care of a baby since P was born ten years ago, and yeah, I won't be taking care of her all the time, but I will take care of her occasionally.

I want her to grow up to be what I'm not. I want her to be strong, and confident, and easy-going, and to be the kind of person that people love to love. I want her to have every opportunity in life because there are so many things that I never got to try and I wish that I could have tried them.

I want her to be the person who always makes the world better.

I also don't want to step on my mother's toes any because we already have a slightly precarious relationship, largely because we just don't operate on the same wave-length. My mother is emotional, and I'm more logical, and the two do not always go well together.

All the fun.

In other news, tonight was the second night of RCIA classes. Monsignor O'Neal was teaching us tonight. It was actually really nice. The teaching bit was a bit dull, we were going over the order of mass, but not in a way that really helps me. What would help me is a comprehensive understanding of when to sit and when to stand. I've about got the standing and kneeling bit figured out completely. I don't always have to look at the people around me for that part, but the earlier part I haven't got a figured out. Anyway, it was more of a breakdown of the different parts of the mass. The best part was the Monsignor himself. He's an older Irish gentleman, and he's got a great sense of humor.

Anyway, I'll talk to ya'll again tomorrow.

Yours always,
Tara

RCIA class #1 and the hunt for a small wall crucifix without a scary price tag

Ehem.

RCIA. The Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults. Let me be incredibly honest, in the hours leading up to this class, my stomach was in knots. Why? Because I'm not, by nature, an out going person. I like people, don't get me wrong. I like groups of people too. But only if I know them all and have at least a minimum level of friendship with them. So classes of any kind are a bit intimidating.

Of course, everyone reading this who has been through these classes at the Cathedral knows that there was really no reason to be worried. There were a few tables with chairs, extra chairs along the wall, and a grand total of about 40 or so people there. I didn't count.

I took along my knitting, but did not actually pull it out. I probably should have. Knitting helps to relieve nervous energy, and most people are more fascinated by it than annoyed by it. I think I've lost one of my needles in my floor though. St. Anthony has his work cut out for him helping me find it.

My room exists in a state of semi-permanent chaos, with a vague sense of organization where my craft supplies are concerned. I still have boxes that I haven't unpacked, and quite frankly might never get around to unpacking....which is all the more reason to unpack them, because I probably need to get rid of 95% of the stuff in the boxes.

Anyway! The class! Today was a basic intro class. Father Shrek (yes, I did spell that correctly, thank you....I think) gave us a small syllabus (yay!) to give us an idea of what we'll be covering and when we will be out of class, such as St. Patrick's Day. Smart move that one. Savannah is crazy on St. Pat's!  We start to actually get into things more next week.

He also mentioned the blessings thing. Many of you may recall that, for a time, I would go up to receive a blessing during the communion procession. I stopped after reading some stuff that implied that this recent tradition was not well received by those in authority. I'm still conflicted about the whole thing, and honestly, I'm probably going to go nuts trying to figure out what to do. According to Father Shrek, it's fine to do so. I'm still not sure whether I should, or whether I should stay in my seat.

There's some things that I do that I know a lot of people argue over, and frankly, for most of it, I can't really bring myself to care. There is no definitive "this is how it should be" so I figure, as long as I do my best to follow the rules, I'm fine. I'm not going to stop doing something just because a few people don't like it. But in this case, I'm not really sure what to think.

Now that I'm off on Tuesdays, my weekday mass service has been changed from Wednesday to Tuesdays. Added to this is a new exercise regime for Aunt D and I. After mass, we walk. Just, you know, where ever. We walked around for a few hours before stopping by Saints and Shamrocks. Every time I go in there I look at the wall crucifixes, and every time the price tags are scary.

I'm not sure why it is, but depending on the object, my "scary price tag" could be anywhere from $15 to $200. It all depends on the object. Restaurants where everything is $10 or more....scary price tags. A wall crucifix for $50.....scary price tag. A book for $30....scary price tag. Now that's not to say I never make purchases for things with "scary price tags" but I do try to keep it to a minimum. Scary price tags are called that for a reason, after all.

And honestly, I balk at spending $50 for most things. Which does not in any way negate the fact that I realize spending $100 for the complete M*A*S*H series plus the movie and a disc of bonus features is a really good deal. It just means that I still looked every where before finally making the purchase. What can I say? The joys of online shopping. I don't have to ask for help because it's already at my finger tips, I have the option of shopping multiple stores at the same time, and I don't have to deal with people. Brilliant.

Oh! Some quick shop news. While I will be doing a lot of work on personal projects, I am hoping to start on some items for the Etsy store shorty. It's my hope that I will be able to officially open for business by the end of October, beginning of November. I'll be sure to post a link when I open for business.

One thing I've been looking into is a metal casting service. Sadly, metal casting is a bit beyond my skills, but I'd really like to see a better medal for Our Lady Star of the Sea. The primary ones that I've found all look a little.....clinical. I can't help but think that any devotion to our Mother deserves to be a little more vibrant. Not necessarily colorful, but more detailed perhaps. Especially since we have so many beautiful medals for the saints, and other devotions to the Blessed Mother, easily available to us.

There's a lot of beautiful devotions to Mary that don't get a lot of attention. I'm not sure why, maybe because they aren't apparitions? But another really beautiful one is Our Lady of La Leche. I guess maybe I like that one so much because my mother breast fed my brothers, and will do so for my sister as well, but I just think it's lovely to see our Mother like that.

Anyway, I've gone off into rambling again. I really need to stop doing that. So I'm going to sign off, and call it a night. It's been a long, productive day.

Oh! Shameless plug for my favorite (well, a favorite) show on EWTN. Saints Alive! comes on tomorrow night at 5pm Eastern!

Goodnight all!

Yours always,
Tara

Tiny Saints, Bad Catholics, and Cabbage patch dolls

My Shining Light Dolls came today. I left St. Nicholas at home, but I brought St. Patrick with me. It's nice to have him sitting on the computer smiling at me while I work. It's silly, but it makes me smile every time I look at him.

I've also been reading more of my Bad Catholic's Guide series. I haven't finished Wine, Whiskey, and Song yet, but I'm also reading a little bit of Good Living. I adore the writing. The humor alone is worth the price, and you don't have to be Catholic, or even considering Catholicism to really enjoy them.

In other news, I've also started on a hat for Little Bird that looks like a Cabbage Patch Dolls hair. Pigtails and yarn loop bangs. Yarn loops! Do you have any idea how hard it was to get that awful loop stitch? Ugh! I was so thankful that St. Patrick is the patron of Ireland and has heard far worse than my grumbling as I tried to make this stupid stitch work. I finally got it right, and I apologized for my less than charitable thoughts toward the inventor of the Loop stitch, the writer of the pattern, and my yarn, but still.

While my tiny Saint keeps smiling, I'm sure St. Patrick himself is continually rolling his eyes at me.

I'm hoping to finish this hat before I drop my truck off to get the alignment fixed, that way I can give it to my mom along with the blanket I bought for Little Bird. It's purple and green and has two little birds at the bottom. It's so cute! And not pink!

Why is EVERYTHING for little girls pink? You have to wait until they hit 1yr. before you get other color options! (Unless you're buying green or yellow, green and yellow are, apparently, gender neutral.) It's a color! Why? Have I mentioned how much I hate assigning genders to colors?

Do you realize that pink was considered a boy color up until the 1950s? and that the only reason it changes is because the Nazis had homosexuals in the concentration camps wear pink triangles? Blue was a girl color, because it was considered calming and delicate.

They are colors! It doesn't matter pink or blue! It's a color! How ridiculous!

Not that I'm against pink. I mean, it's not my favorite color or anything, but I don't mind it. It's just that I find it ridiculous how all that you can find, for the most part, is a wall of pastel pink!

It's a bit much, by my way of thinking.

I did make an appointment with the doctor. It's not until September, but I'll be able to make it until then. I'm hoping that, if I watch what I'm eating, I might be able to avoid a repeat performance of this morning.

Truthfully, it was easier to make the appointment than I had thought it would be. The lady on the other line was very helpful, and it made it easier. I'm still not happy about it, but such is life.

I would appreciate your prayers, especially since I have to get up early tomorrow morning. I'm praying for a good day tomorrow. If I make it to morning mass, I usually have a good day after wards.

I'm going to call it a night, and get to work on that Cabbage patch hat.
Yours always,
Tara

Ouch!

Last night, or really, this morning, was not fun. I woke up at 2am to fairly bad pain in my abdomen, just below the rib cage. The pain persisted until about 5:20, making it impossible to get back to sleep. I'm planning, much to my displeasure, to make an appointment with a doctor and see about getting it checked out. This isn't the first time that this has happened, so I figure it's something that has to be looked at.

I have no real desire to do so, mind you. I hate doctors, hospitals, and pretty much anything related to the medical profession as it applies to living, breathing human beings. Medical examiners are cool, and the anatomy of the human body is fascinating, but hospitals make me anxious. Also, the last time I was at a hospital, it was because Mom was there because of a scare with Little Bird and the chapel was closed! Who closes a chapel in a hospital? I mean, ok, so maybe the good priest can't be there all the time, need to get a little sleep himself, but seriously?

I ended up leaning against a wall in a hallway, praying for my family, and that I'd remain undisturbed while falling apart. I don't do well when family members are in danger. I actually scared the living daylights out of the poor fellow I asked about the hours for the chapel. He thought someone had died! I mean, I'm sure someone had, but not any of my someones.

I digress. Point is, I'm not a fan of hospitals. At. ALL.

I fixed my poor teddy bear before bed last night. After 20 yrs of dedicated service, my beloved Teddy (yes, his name is Teddy) has begun to show his age. I'd send him to a stuffed animal doctor, but I don't trust people. And this is a highly important member of the Ursa Fluffus family! He's been there through illness, through injuries, through moves, through new family members, through funerals, he's even talked me out of running away! (I was and continue to be a weird kid.) And yes, I do still snuggle with my teddy bear at night!

Anyway, tomorrow I'm going to morning mass for the Feast of the Assumption, and then taking my truck in to get the front end alignment fixed. After that, I'm cleaning the house. I'm hoping I'll get the chance to make a short trip down to St. Augustine Saturday. There's a mission there I'd like to see for Nuestra Señora de La Leche y Buen Parto (Our Lady of Milk and Happy Delivery). Maybe she'll accept prayers from a concerned older sister.

It'd also be a good chance to get some great photos. Last time I went, I didn't take any pictures. Well, okay, I took a few, but since I was there to see a friend, they weren't really pictures of St. Augustine.

My mother tends to be the shutter happy one, a fact which induced misery as a child (and I count that all the way up to the present day and beyond, truthfully. As long as I'm her child) but I enjoy taking pictures as well. I'm usually content with a simple digital camera, while my mom like the bulky professional models. Of course, I've never stopped loving the old Polaroids that spit the picture out and develop it in 10 seconds. Those cameras, and their film, should always be available to the public.

I think my writing highlights a problem I have with life very well. I'll be 22 at the end of this month....and I still feel like a kid. I have a job, responsibilities, bills...and I still feel like a kid. Nobody tells you that being a 20-something is terrifying because you're expected to "be an adult" and you barely even feel like a teenager most of the time, let alone an adult. But then I wonder if that's just what adulthood is? A bunch of people who still feel like kids, but they have a little more experience in life, and so humanity fumbles along.

Except for that weirdo who literally never smiles. Like, they are the human personification of dour, imposing old buildings, that call to mind horror stories of Nuns with rulers and pinched faces, who you can literally never imagine as children because they are made out of stone!

I don't mean the Eeyore people. The gloomy people who are really good, and sweet, and want to help, but just can't help but be a Marshwiggle and sigh. You know, those people are actually really nice, because they're love little things. Eeyore was thrilled (in his own way) to receive a popped balloon and an empty jar from his friends, even if it wasn't what they'd meant to give him, because they'd tried really hard, and they did it because they loved him.

Nor do I mean the people like Rabbit, who grouse about boisterous people, who like the quiet, who like their work, and would rather not be interrupted when they're working because it's important. They can be very generous, and really do love their friends, even if they don't always want to be around them. They're a bit fussy, and a bit stuck-up some times, but they don't mean any harm.

I mean the people who are just the human personification of stoic, and that's their entire personality. Stoic, mature, reserved. These aren't bad traits, but in this sort of person, they're stifling!

Meanwhile, I'm over here as something of a cross between all the Hundred Acre Woods' beloved inhabitants. But Piglet and Eeyore are still my favorites. I'm sure that says something about my personality (paging: Dr. Freud?) but I'm not going to look to deeply into it.

Anyway, that's all for now! I'm going to get something to eat.
Yours always,
Tara

Wow, where is my mind today?

I've just been forgetting things left and right and it's getting ridiculous! Okay, so, first thing first, I almost forgot to place the order for the parts of the chaplet for Our Lady Star of the Sea that I have planned. Then, I forgot to tell you guys how mass with L went on Sunday. And then, to top it off, as I was leaving for work I forgot my water bottle, my plate, and a fork! How ridiculous is that?

Thankfully, I've remembered to cancel my subscriptions to ancestry.com and idisciple. I was using idisciple for the daily reading, but I have a free app, Laudate, that has the daily reading, the rosary, and more. I still have Netflix and Catholic Answers Live, but that's about it. Next month, my phone bill goes up by $5 when I switch from my mom's contract to prepaid. I'm not too worried about it. Other than getting my front end alignment fixed on Friday, and some bronze chain and jump rings for the chaplet, I don't have anything else to purchase.

I'm not sure if I want to keep my Amazon Prime account. I don't use it very often, mainly because I buy the absolute cheapest one possible, which is often not the Amazon Prime option. I made use of it this time, mainly because the books I wanted, The Protestant Dilemma, The Bad Catholic's Guide (all three of them) and Rediscovering Catholicism were all just as cheap to buy the Prime version as to buy the lowest price and then add shipping. I also got Vampire Knits and Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

I love Monty Python. It's a guilty pleasure that I enjoy, especially with a little alcohol involved. Not that it need alcohol, it's hilarious without it, but a little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.

Oh! I'm a terrible person, I'm sure! So, about a month ago I made a Guinness Chocolate Cheesecake (it didn't cook quite long enough, giving the center a more pudding like texture) and it tasted great. But that's not the terrible part. The terrible part is what I was so so so tempted to do!

See, my mother's church does Sunday school on Sunday evenings, and in each class there is food. And they like to spring it on you to bring something, little to no advanced warning, unless they remember to put out the sign up sheet (and even then...). So I had the absolutely terrible idea (though I didn't follow through) to take the cheese cake to church, and when asked what it is, to say "Guinness Chocolate Cheesecake". Now, given the nature of Southern Baptists, there would be someone who would comment on the sinfulness of alcohol, to which I would respond "Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker!" (thank you Mr. Willy Wonka!)

Thankfully, I never did that, but it was really tempting! I could just imagine the looks on their faces! I can also count on one hand the number that would laugh at it! Even the fun loving ones can be so uptight sometimes! I guess that's just people for you though.

Anyway! Sunday mass with L. We went to the second service they offer, and sat fairly close to the back. Thankfully we had the pew to ourselves, so there was no shuffling and tripping when it came time for the Eucharist (we just stayed where we were, given that neither of us are Catholics), and we weren't so far back we didn't have kneelers. My knees were still killing me though, but that's because I walked to a low table Saturday.

But anyway, we fumbled along as best we could, I more so than her because I actively try to participate, and she was content with just sitting when they sat and kneeling when they kneeled and so on. It was good though. It was nice to have her go with me.

I slipped up though! I generally tell people that I have no desire to marry and have children, largely because I'm not looking, not because I'm not interested. And the more someone says that I'll change my mind, the louder I say it. Truth is, I wouldn't mind getting married and having kids. And unfortunately I slipped up and let her know that. Damn! I did swear her to secrecy though (and that goes for all of you as well, dear readers!) so it shouldn't go any further than that. I'll slip up with the rest of my friends eventually, but right now....eh.

I know I said I'd wait until Wednesday, but I'm really tempted to just call the Cathedral tomorrow, and if they don't have a priest who can work with me, then sign up for the RCIA classes and talk to my boss about changing the schedule in September. I'm not a patient person, truthfully.

I'm planning on going to mass Friday, but honestly, I'm a little nervous. I've been to weekday mass, and Sunday mass, but I'm pretty sure that this is going to be a little more if that makes sense. Hopefully there will be something in the Let us Keep the Feast books to give me an idea of what to expect.

I've got one baby hat done. Tomorrow I'll try to knock out the other one, and hopefully I'll be able to get the striped one done on Wednesday. If all goes well, then Thursday I'll start on a new pair of booties. I still have a pair of mittens too though. One more thing I'd almost forgotten.

I really want to get started on my Christmas knitting.

Good night, dear readers, I'll talk to you in the morning.
Yours always,
Tara

4 Months!

I asked my mother earlier if she had any idea what she wanted for Christmas and her answer was "That's five months away!"

Four months! And about 22 days, but that's not the point! If I want even a chance to finish my Christmas knitting by then I need to start now! I'm not the fastest knitter. I mean, okay, I can make a pair of baby mittens in an 8hr work day, but that's hardly the point!

Am I the only one freaking out over Christmas?

In other news, I bought the last few pieces for the St. Dymphna chaplet I'm making for my sister. I also have plans for a Our Lady Star of the Sea chaplet and a rosary with St. Joan of Arc as the center. I need to get some bronze chain for the OL Star of the Sea chaplet.

My sister is planning on trying to come down in October for Little Bird's birth, but apparently is struggling with impulse spending. Of course, this is as opposed to her hurting herself, so a little over-spending, as long as she's not going in debt, is a good thing.

I've been trying to budget out my money for next payday. I'm thinking of canceling my membership with ancestry.com. They make it look so easy, but honestly all I've gotten out of it is a headache. I'd much rather spend that money on knitting patterns and yarn if I'm not going to get anywhere with it. I mean, I was expecting birth certificates and marriage licenses(and there are a few of the later) but most of their "info" comes from census data and that stuff is terrible to work with! Especially if you're in the South prior to 1920! So my search for family roots is a flop, and I don't really care. I'm going to talk with my Great-grandma....possibly.

I love my great-grandmother, but she thinks everyone is out to get her, and almost every time she opens her mouth, sewage comes out. If you lead the conversation, like I'd have to, she's usually not so bad. Even so, not fun.

Oh! Have you seen these? Plush St. Patrick and Plush OL Star of the Sea ? Oh my gosh! These are just too sweet! I love these! They're so cute and so simple, and they would be so great for kids because they're soft and accessible! There are probably more variation out there, but those are the two that I found first and just LOVED!

I'm still disappointed about the cathedral. Aside from the aesthetics, it's also, schedule wise, a bit better for me. This, of course, is because it is the cathedral and is also right in the heart of Savannah, which means it offers mass more frequently during the day. For example, I won't be able to attend Friday morning mass at any of the locations because I'm helping my granma, but I can attend afternoon mass.

The down side, of course, is the sheer number of people that attend on Sundays and Holy Days (and let's not even touch upon St. Pat's) which, for little ole me, is quite terrifying. Not exactly high up on my list of things to do.

Either way, one step at a time. Everything will work out.

My birthday is coming up at the end of this month! August 26th I'll be 22 years old. I'm not really sure how to feel about it. I really wanted to do some big Hobbit themed party (I haven't had a party since I was 10) but I just....I haven't bought anything for decoration, and I don't really feel like throwing a party. I already know my paycheck around Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years will be lower than my usual paycheck. The front end of my tire needs to be re-aligned and really, all I want is for my family to be there, and that's never going to happen.

Oh, I'll get most of them, but my mom and dad don't get along. Plus, Dad is job hunting right now, and I don't want to put any strain on him (which it would be, because he lives in Colorado) if I can avoid it. I'll be honest, I'm still struggling with the scars their divorce left and I hate that so much.

Because those scars aren't hurting them, those scars are hurting me, and I just want it to stop.

Anyway, I've put off finishing up this second mitten long enough. I've got one more pair after this, and then I've got booties and hats to make.

Feel free to leave your thought, I'd love to read them.
Yours always,
Tara

My first pair of socks and a meeting with a priest

So, going in chronological order here, last night I finished my first pair of socks!

Okay, so the picture isn't the best, but still! Look! I made socks!

I am so ridiculously pleased by this fact. I mean, I love weird socks! Crazy colors, patterns, you name it. Well, I'm not fond of socks with individual toes, but that's just a personal preference. I feel ready to take on more challenges now! Today socks, tomorrow mittens! And then baby dresses! And maybe a sweater! 

But I'd better pace myself. My knitting list is already about half-a-mile long. Still, I made socks.

They are not, of course, without flaws. The gusset on the outside of the left foot is a little wonky looking, and I think I dropped a stitch on the leg of the right one and then picked it up like two rows later or something. I don't really know. The point is that I finally made socks! I did the heel flap and turned the heel, and I did lovely little cables which required I juggle six needles and they turned out really well! I've still got about a quarter of the one skein left, and then an whole skein that hasn't been touched. Maybe I'll try making a hat, for me, not for a baby. 

I have to finish the baby knitting first though. Two pairs of green mittens, one pair of blue booties, three hats: blue, green, and striped. Then I have to make a pumpkin hat, and I then I can start working on Christmas knitting!

Anyway, I just got back from a local parish. I went to morning mass first and I wish they had of put on the website that they say the rosary in the mornings! I'd have been there earlier for that! I caught the last decade, and managed to stumble along with them. I've memorized Our Father, Hail Mary, and Glory Be, still struggling with Hail Holy Queen. Anyway, went to mass, the people were friendly, but not smothering. Afterwards, met with the priest.

This is the meeting I've been in knots over since Thursday, dear readers. Obviously, I was worried for no reason, but as you learn quickly, I'm naturally a nervous Nelly. It went pretty well. I had to really think about what he was saying because English isn't his first language, but if he could overcome the struggle of learning a new language, the least I can do is to try my best to understand him. 

He's going to try to put me in touch with the deacon in charge of the RCIA program so that he has my information and so that there's a support team of sorts (and he encouraged me to drop in on every class I could), but said that, if I don't hear back from the deacon by the end of the week, to email him back, and he'll take care of it. 

I'm actually kind of excited. I've been trying to get in touch with someone for about a month, and now, finally! I see results!

All in all, I'm pleased. I still prefer the cathedral, but that might be because it's big enough that no one notices me fumbling along in the back. 

Wednesday I'll go to the Cathedral for mass, just because otherwise, I won't be able to go. School starts back that day, and we live right across from an elementary school. At the time I'd have to leave for any of the other parishes, it'd be almost impossible to get out at our road. But Sunday I'll go back to this one, and I might go on Friday. 

Speaking of the rosary (well, that was a few paragraphs up, but still, bear with me) I've been making use of EWTN's broadcast of the rosary every night at 9:30. It can be a little difficult to sit through, the music they have in the background occasionally drives me nuts, and the Hail Marys are said a bit quicker than I'm entirely comfortable with, but the point is that I'm do it! Small victories! I struggle to focus when I do it on my own, so the broadcast is a good thing. 

And that's it for now, dear readers. I'll check back in with you later. 

Yours always,

Tara

The Joys of (trying) to get started

I refer, dear readers, to Christmas knitting. The men in my life, whether they like it or not, are getting socks! But the other members of my family are another matter entirely. And then there are my friends to knit for as well.

So far, my list looks something like this...

Socks: H, P, Step-da, Da
Granma: Shawl (Butterflies?)
Ma:....
Sister: Toothless Dragon hat
Little Bird: Angel Dress, baby blanket, Christmas Stocking, Plush toy
Step-ma: Infinity scarf?

Cas: (Doctor Who?)
Hale: Scarf
Hale's son: Dragon toy
Hale's daughter: Sofia the first?
L: Infinity cowl?
L's son: ???

Misc.: Knitted Advent calendar, socks, shawls

My mother is particularly challenging because she's a summer person. She likes wearing shorts and tank tops and sandals. Meanwhile, I daydream about crisp Autumn breezes and pumpkin flavored everything! Hats, scarves, mittens! Cowls and shawls, leggings! Did I mention how much I LOVE being able to cover almost every inch of skin below my neck and not having anyone look at me like I've lost my mind, or dying of heat stroke? I like cardigans and long-sleeves, and jeans, and long socks! Boots, and being able to wear my hair down without over-heating.

And did I mention pumpkin flavored everything, dear readers?

Coffee, cookies, cakes, pies, muffins, butter, tea, soups, bread, scones and more!

Is it October yet? Please?

Spring is nice too, I'm especially fond of March (and St. Patrick's Day...) and the wet, but not overly frigid weather. Well, hopefully. Last year it was miserably cold! I was so grateful we didn't live up North. Just the mere thought of snow is too much.

To be fair, it usually takes me half an hour to warm up after I've gotten cold. And my feet can take up to an hour. Miserable!

I do think I'd enjoy winter a little more if we actually got snow. Not a lot, mind you, but about two inches or so. And no freezing cold rain!

I've just about finished my second sock. I'll take pictures of it when I get home, and post it tomorrow after I get home from meeting with the priest.

Did I mention I'm nervous?  Oh I am so nervous! It's irrational, and with how impatient I've been I shouldn't be nervous, but I am. That's just how life goes, isn't it?

I'm also quite pleased with my goal to cut back on sodas. So far I'm down to one a day, occasionally two. Not bad considering I used to drink four and five a day!

Anyway, I'm going to call it an evening, dear readers, and work on getting this last sock finished. After that, it's mittens, booties, and three little hats.

Yours always,
Tara

I think I need more beads, don't you?

It's Saturday morning and I'm already at work. It's going to be a long, dull day. With any luck, I'll finish my first sock, and be able to move swiftly into working on the next one.

I'm also hoping some of my books will arrive. We've already discussed how impatient I can be.

I need to get some white cloisonne beads for a rosary I've got planned. I also need to get the center piece and the crucifix while I'm at it.

Which reminds me, I'm making a St. Dymphna chaplet for my sister. She's been struggling with depression for several years now. I wish I could be there to help her more, but she lives in Maryland, and I do not. I was thinking that the chaplet might help, if only by serving as a reminder that some one loves her. I've got the beads all ready, I just need to get the medal and possibly a center piece. Does any one have any suggestions?

The weather has started to cool off here, for which I am incredibly grateful. I'm not a fan of extreme temperatures, which makes summer and winter both fairly miserable. Thankfully, autumn is coming up soon, and it'll be cool enough for sweaters with out being cold enough for three sweater (people up North are laughing at me, I'm sure) and there will be pumpkin flavored everything! I love autumn.

Spring is good too, of course, but autumn is coming up, and spring is a ways off.

I'm honestly a bit nervous about meeting with the priest on Tuesday. I know I shouldn't be, logically, but meeting new people isn't really my forte. I mean, you should have seen me the one time I went to a counselor about the tension between my mother and I! I was fidgeting like Batty from Fern Gully! Well, okay, maybe not that bad, but still!

About lunch time I'll post today's randomly generated saint. You'll have to let me know what you think of it, dear readers.

Anyway, until then I remain,
Sincerely yours,
Tara

I hate phone calls

Few things are worse than having to make a phone call.

Seriously! You have no idea how grateful I was when Papa John's started online ordering! No phone calls necessary! I hate calling people. I literally have to take a deep breath, and psyche myself up for it. I rehearse what I'm going to say, and try my hardest not to let the person on the other end of the line know that I feel sick with nerves! 

It's not like talking to new people! Surprisingly, I'm usually pretty good at that. But I have phone anxiety like you wouldn't believe! Family, of course, is an exception, but, as my good friend Cas put it "I've seen you about to fall out over ordering a pizza!"

So I called the Cathedral office and one of the local parishes today, since I still hadn't heard from anyone. The Cathedral said they'll call me back. The priest at the local parish is meeting with me Tuesday morning, so we can discuss this in person. It's the same parish I'm planning on attending Friday morning, and it's also the same one my friend Hale's father attends. 

Hale's the "wiccan". 

What can I say, I have weird friends. 

My point though! I hate phone calls, feel incredibly awkward when I have to make them, and would much rather just text, or email, or even snail-mail! At least then I wouldn't stumble over my words.

Moving on, I'm about a third of the way through my first sock. I just finished the heel flap and am about to start the heel itself. I'm honestly not sure how well they'll fit, but even if they don't, at least I'll have made them. And I'll have something to go off of for future reference. 

I'll still be a little heartbroken though. I really do love socks. Especially fun ones. These ones are pretty cool, if a bit of a pain to make (I feel like an octopus trying to juggle all those darn needles! Six needles at any given time, dear readers!). I still need to finish the pair of booties I made for Shawna. It won't take more than three minutes, I just don't feel like doing it right now. 

So, Friday I'm going to one parish, Sunday I'm going to a different one, and honestly, the one I'm visiting Friday will probably be the one I go to more frequently, based on the mass schedule. I still really love going to the Cathedral, and I think there might be one more parish close by that I can look into. 

I've never wanted to live in the North East near my sister, entirely based off my dislike for cold weather (which is completely understandable, dear reader, as I have a hard time warming up after I get cold) but right now, I wouldn't mind so much, because it'd probably be easier to find someone to meet with! 

My impatience is getting the best of me, I think. Do any of you have any tips, or suggestions on how to deal with it?

Yours always,

Tara