Long days and sitting on edge

Last night was a longer than usual night, which means that today has been a very long and tiring day. I have been tired and short tempered all day, and my vocabulary has sounded like a drunken sailors....sadly, no alcohol was imbibed to aid my colorful language. Nor will it be for a few days, at most, because my mother is expecting to go into labor either tonight or tomorrow.

Apparently, my little sister has decided that she's waited long enough, thank you very much, and she's quite tired of waiting. Mom hasn't gone into labor yet, but she's in the early stages, so she's expecting it to start up very soon.

I'm both excited, and terrified.

I like kids. I will swear up and down, left and right, that children are monsters and I want nothing to do with them, but the truth is a little more complicated.

Truth is, until my parent's got divorced, it literally never occurred to me that I might not get married and have kids. I certainly didn't plan on going out and settling with the first fellow I found and having a litter of little people, but I did think that, one day, I would find some one and have an undetermined number of kids.

My parents got divorced, forcing me to question pretty much everything I thought I knew about love and marriage, and I swore left, right, and center that I was never getting married and never having kids to any one who even remotely suggested that I might one day want that.

Honest truth. I want that. I want to get married and have kids. I want to have that. Especially now, as I'm entering the Catholic church, because there's so much that I would love to experience. Christening and first communion and all those lovely little milestones that parents prepare their kids for and that I'd like, God willing, to one day prepare my own kids for.

The thing is, it's been so long, and I've said it for so long, that I actually feel a little awkward around kids now. And I'm not willing to admit it out loud to my family that, yes, I would one day like to have kids. But I'm going to have a little sister and I'm torn between being excited and being scared out of my mind because I haven't taken care of a baby since P was born ten years ago, and yeah, I won't be taking care of her all the time, but I will take care of her occasionally.

I want her to grow up to be what I'm not. I want her to be strong, and confident, and easy-going, and to be the kind of person that people love to love. I want her to have every opportunity in life because there are so many things that I never got to try and I wish that I could have tried them.

I want her to be the person who always makes the world better.

I also don't want to step on my mother's toes any because we already have a slightly precarious relationship, largely because we just don't operate on the same wave-length. My mother is emotional, and I'm more logical, and the two do not always go well together.

All the fun.

In other news, tonight was the second night of RCIA classes. Monsignor O'Neal was teaching us tonight. It was actually really nice. The teaching bit was a bit dull, we were going over the order of mass, but not in a way that really helps me. What would help me is a comprehensive understanding of when to sit and when to stand. I've about got the standing and kneeling bit figured out completely. I don't always have to look at the people around me for that part, but the earlier part I haven't got a figured out. Anyway, it was more of a breakdown of the different parts of the mass. The best part was the Monsignor himself. He's an older Irish gentleman, and he's got a great sense of humor.

Anyway, I'll talk to ya'll again tomorrow.

Yours always,
Tara

A Truly Brilliant morning!

I decided to go to mass this morning, despite a late night (12:50) and having gone yesterday and I'm so glad that I did!

Immediately following mass I ran outside to put a quarter in the meter (mass ends about 7 minutes before 8, which is when the meter starts to really be an issue) and met a lovely lady who I shall simply refer to as Aunt D. Aunt D is new, and moving here shortly. I actually saw her at mass yesterday, but I was in a rush yesterday (bad Tara!) and didn't say anything. Today though, it turned out really well.

While we where talking, I was led to give her the Our Lady Star of the Sea chaplet that I made. I paid the meter and went inside to sit in front of Mother Mary and finish the rosary I had started to say before mass began (I can usual get a decade or so in before mass starts), and then Aunt D and I went to breakfast.

There's this really nice Parker's on Drayton that I call the Fancy Parker's because it's got all sorts of little gourmet or really high quality food items, and we went there and had breakfast. It was really nice because we sat and talked for about an hour before I showed her where Saints and Shamrocks (the closest thing we have to a Catholic bookstore, as far as I know) and then parted ways.

There are two things that make this whole thing so fantastic! Number one is how happy Aunt D was! She loved the chaplet! And was so happy to just sit and talk over breakfast. Second great thing is that I got an aunt out of it! I love when you just click with people and become friends! And when you become family? Brilliant!

Of course, I'm at work now. Speaking of! I just picked up 8 more hours so I am officially full time again! Isn't that great? And my boss and I have already talked about me having Tuesdays off come September for the RCIA classes.

There's also a place not to far from the church that has beginner's Irish dance classes about an hour before the RCIA classes, so I'm hoping I can take that, and the RCIA, plus pick up a class or two for the fall mini-mester at STC.

Yeah, I gave up on trying to be really sneaky about where I'm at. Anyone who knows South Georgia worth a fig knows where the Cathedral of St. John the Baptist is. No point hiding it. I live within easy driving distance of Savannah, Ga.

Anyway. Aunt D and I also saw the strangest thing while in the Fancy Parker's. Giant Wooden Rosary beads. And I don't mean like the ones you get for teaching toddlers to pray the rosary (no, I'm not secretly looking at baby stuff in the hopes of one day having progeny of my own despite telling my parents and everyone else that I am "never having kids", not at all *pfft*) I mean like 4 1/2- 5 ft long rosaries made of 1/4 in to 1/2in wooden beads and a 2 1/2 in long crucifix. And it was white.

Weirdo that I am, I'm tempted to go back and get one, just because it's such an interesting rosary, though I'll be honest, I'd probably have it a week before attacking it with brightly colored acrylics. Either way, I'm leaving it be for now. I can probably make one myself, or find one else where cheaper.

Aunt D also gave me a lovely turquois and gold rosary over breakfast. We were talking about it (because of the giant wooden ones) and I mentioned my strange relationship with rosaries (I partially blame them for the fact that I'm converting) and she just pulled it out and gave it to me. It was nice. I'm going to pray with it tonight just for her.

We talked about a lot of things. Her daughter, my mother, my pub that I want to open, her parents, and it was brilliant! I'm so glad that it happened. Nothing like this ever happened while I was attending the Baptist church. I feel like today is just a taste of what might be in my future if I allow it to be.

I'm also incredibly thankful for second chances, because I could have given it to her yesterday, but because of my nervousness and rushing I missed the chance. But God and Mother Mary (yes, I know she had a hand in this whole thing, it's got her name written all over it!) knew that we both needed this, and it all worked out!

Aunt D is headed back to her home to tie up lose ends, and then she'll be moving to Savannah and I'm so excited! It'll be nice to know someone at the Cathedral when I go (Besides Mr. J, I mean. I don't see him every time). I'm thinking about maybe inviting Father Shrek over for dinner one day, but that I think can wait for a little while. It's not like I live alone, after all, and my granma might be opposed to that. I don't think she would be, but it's best to make sure, you know?

Downside to the new hours is that I have to reschedule my appointment with the tattoo artist. I don't really mind to much, I mean, those hours will help me out a lot, but at the same time, I'm really interested in seeing what she did with my (really pitiful) rough draft. and to talk color. Of course, H is still a little disappointed that I haven't gone to see her guy (because he's the best, obviously) but I like this place. It's where I got my first tattoo (same artist too) and I was really pleased with it. It's also really close to the mall, so when I (inevitably) get the munchies after getting inked, I have lots of options.

Also, I'm almost finished with the stole! I'm a little more than half-way through the crocheted edging and boy does that make me feel like I'm all thumbs! I miss my knitting needles! It's been a while since I last crocheted anything, so I feel so awkward! But it's good practice for that sweater I really want to make. As soon as I finish I'm going to finish the other bootie and then make my socks! Then a pair of mittens and a hat, followed by Christmas knitting! I've got the yarn and the pattern for a lovely butterfly shawl for my granma (she loves butterflies) and that's where I'll start. Then socks for Sasquatch, and part one of the knitted advent calendar, that is to say, the garland it sits on. Hopefully by then I'll have money again and can buy the yarn for Little Bird's Christmas stocking and P's socks, as well as the eyelash yarn for Little Bird's dress. I've also still got to make her pumpkin hat. That, thankfully, will not be as bad as that awful cabbage patch hat.

Wow, I've written a lot tonight. I am so sorry. You are all wonderful for reading this far!

So, question time! Have you ever had something happen that just had Mother Mary's hand-writing all over it? Have you ever had a priest over for dinner before? Let me know! I'd love to hear from you!

Yours always,
Tara

Because no one needs to find the right room

Oh I love my job.

You might have caught the sarcasm there.

Here's the thing though, if you're going to have me sit at the front desk, the least you can do is actually let me know there's something going on, and what room it will be in, that way, I don't have to hunt some one down (after everybody else has left!) in order to find out the answer to this person's question! It's not rocket science by any means!

This, of course, is not the first time this has happened, but these classes are generally held before everyone leaves, so I don't have to spend 15 minutes looking for some one!

The good news is that I did get to listen to Catholic Answers Live tonight. I also bought some yarn. I'll probably need to buy a second skein of it, so I can make socks, but it's this really nice yellow ochre with a little orange and khaki subtly mixed in. I've got an awesome pattern off of Ravelry that has a nice cable pattern.

I'm really excited about the Irish Ale socks that I'm planning on. I bought the yarn from knitpicks, so as soon as it comes in, I'll be ready to go. I'm nervous too though. I've been knitting ten years and never made socks. It's not all that surprising though. It's not like I had any one to teach me how to do it. My mother, bless her heart, can't knit or crochet. Counting stitches causes her blood-pressure to rise.

I crochet a little, but it's been a long time. I need to start again though. I have my heart set on this sweater I saw. I've got the pattern, and hopefully enough yarn (I think they discontinued the color) to make it, so maybe.....I'm shooting to finish it by St. Pat's, but considering I haven't even started.....

I also have a flurry of knitting to do in preparation for Little Bird's (I call my sister 'Little Bird') birth, and the fast approaching holiday season. Socks, socks for everyone. Well, not every one.

Just the men.

If they're going to make my life harder than it has to be by answering my yearly question (What do you want for Christmas?) with the standard male "I don't know." Then they get socks!

Plain, ordinary, dull (except the littlest, he get's neons)no-nonsense socks! I can get a little more creative with Dad's, he will appreciate cables or more vibrant colors (still staying with a neutral color palette). But Step-daddy is very much Mr. Old-timey cowboy. Grey socks (black are for Sundays or other dressy occasions) no fun stitches, and thick.

This is the man I nearly poured hot coffee on because he had the nerve to look at a fresh, full pot of coffee that I had just made and say "Is this plain? I don't want the froo-froo stuff." (This when he and my mother were just dating.) You are in mine and my mother's house, you will drink what we have and damn well say "Thank you" after!

I, thankfully, no longer live at home with them, but the man does still get on my nerves with his cow boy thing. He's good with the boys though, and if he and my mother can stop butting heads for two minutes, he might be a good husband. He's going to spoil Little Bird though, I just know it. Mom's already told him that she'll jerk a knot in his tail if he turns their daughter into a brat.

Picture! A 6'3" tall man (skinny as a bean pole, though) with grey hair, shaking in his cowboy boots as his 5'1" tall curly brunette wife (Pregnant!) tells him in no-uncertain terms that he will not spoil their child to ruin. Just thinking about it makes me snicker.

I'm still amazed that my mother has taken the news that I'm considering converting so well. I can't help but wonder if maybe Granma tipped her off. Of course, she knew I had been attending Mass, so maybe that tipped her off enough. Either way, still incredibly thankful that the conversation went well.

The best news I've had thus far, though, is the slightly cooler temperatures that we can expect. I'm not big on hot and humid, and I hate cold and wet. What I really need is some place where the temperature stays between 60-80F all year round. Maybe a few days a little colder, maybe a few days a little warmer, but for the most part it stays right in that comfortable range where I can wear longer sleeves, and pants all the time without dying from the heat.

It's not so bad in the mid-west where my dad lives, where it's hot, but not as humid, because then your clothes don't glue themselves to your body within 2 minutes of walking out your door. Here? Even people like me who do *NOT* like wearing shorts or skirts without leggings underneath are forced to ditch layers or DIE!

So the temperature drop into the 80s is well worth the impending showers.

I have nothing planned for the next two weeks besides work anyhow.

Yours always,
Tara